All Comments on 'My Wife and I Became Sluts Pt. 01'

English probably isn't your native language because there's a lot of it missing. You need help with your grammar, bad.

The plot of your story is nice. There's a lot there to work with. Unfortunately what you uploaded isn't a story. It's not even a draft yet. It's more of report than an actual story.

Take your time. Develop your characters. Describe the settings, the moods, the thoughts. Don't go around just blurting stuff out, like how many times he had to beg before being allowed to suck. Make your text look like a movie would. Put dialog and feelings in it.

The more time and love you put into it, the better it'll be.

You already have the first two milestones here, a good plot and the courage to share it. Now take your time and develop it.

Best wishes

You definitely need help with translation to English . Good story just hard to follow with grammar and missing words

I am willing to read the next installment but agree with the others, your command of the English language is a detriment to what you are trying to say.

Decent story, needs much editing though. 3 stars

Why is it that every one that leaves bad reviews uses anonymous to hide themselves! Personally yes I think it could be better but it’s a nice start. More please!

I like the story and would love to be Candy. Please add more details of the sex. I would like to know how it was and what you were feeling. Thanks, xoxoxo, Brie

Sometimes writing a story is as much for the author's enjoyment as for the reader's.

I get hard envisioning the scene that I compose. And sometimes I write erotica with no intention of sharing it. So Mandijune - keep writing. Improvement cums with experience, but just keep enjoying for yourself.

Bad grammar and jumped around too much.

More sex please Candy