by MajorR
I like the general idea of this story. I did find it a little to narrative and quick past to my liking. For that I'm giving you 3 stars.
I would of like to me able to feel what Master was feeling, it would of made it more discriptive and less of a narration.
Keet at it. I look forward to reading your next one.
Josie
Your story was believable, enjoyable, and well written. I can visualize the right girlfriend going along with everything in your story. My girlfriend wouldn't even start playing that geme