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hard and soft bond in celestial sacrament
Great line! Over all I like this poem, but it's wordy. Tighten it up by losing the excess, and it drips eroticism.
New Poem Reviews
Your Poem has been mentioned on the New Poems Reviews for Tuesday 1st of February.
Drip
I like eroticism that drips. In this write the eroticism did more than drip, it washed off the page and got all over me. I think it needed all the words you used to do this.
I really loved
'as suddenly too tight denims beg freedom'
that line is so perfect.
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