All Comments on 'A Granted Wish'

I thought perhaps I could bring you into the HOT rating, but this was a bit disappointing. It was not edited for grammatical mistakes. There were too many "here for her" and "he" when it should have been "her." Totally ridiculousness came when the boy said, Your tits....MINE, your cunt...MINE, all of you....BELONGS TO ME....and her mouth to her son....OMFG... Just too much. Here are some suggestions.

The premise was okay. Too be honest I'm not too much into parent/child sex. I personally was a victim of that when I was a child...but it was my dad and not my mom. I still have issues about that and I am 63 years old. He's dead now and its totally water under the bridge, but...

Get you an editor...someone or something(Grammarly is a great program you can download that will help if you don't want to deal with people). It will help you with the structure of the piece. Then develop your plot, its twists, the characters, and create turmoil that may or may not be resolved...it would been nice if dad had walked in. I know the Literotica site is for fuck stories, but wouldn't be better if the reader had an emotional attachment that would keep them coming back for more.

I can't go any further here without creating a book. Good Luck with your writing. It is an honorable way of expressing one's self. I gave you quite a bit of fairly harsh criticism, but your story was by far not the worse one I have read on here. There is promise. Double check your work...reread in other words. You would probably have been able to see those errors yourself if you had.

Short very hot story. 5 Stars easy

21 and a high school ftball player.to paladin if you have issues with the genre why are you here reading it

with more building up and teasing vs. basically having it be one long sex scene.

Would love to see this extended into a nice series. Only mother and son though, please. Too many stories on here turn mom into a raging whore and leave the son out at the end. I like stories where the mother and son "ride off into the sunset", as it were.

I've read 4 stories of your work so far and I am disappointed. You have the right concept for this section but you seem centered on creating "wanking" material rather than a true short story. You don't seem to care for your characters at all, and you avoid any type of plot. I give you a great deal of credit in putting your work out there, as well as developing the basis of your stories. However if you want to truly write a sex story concentrate more on the story itself and use the sex scenes to heighten the story.

Also just like it was previously pointed out, a 21 yr old would be a College player or a former high school player. Another point in creating a flow to the story, the son removed her blindfold but no mention of her handcuffs. In the end you mention she grabbed his hip to keep him inside her. Continuity helps in making for a more believable story.

Could have been better. You could have devoted entire pages to her watching Tom the first time, and her fighting with herself not to go back for a second, then third look, before he noticed her there and snuck over to watch HER make herself come. Back and forth peeping until he finally gets up the nerve to ACT after hearing his father and mother that fateful Saturday morning.

You mention she handcuffs herself to entice the father, but never say if HE let her out or if SHE had to undo herself, and if so, HOW did she?

You mention a blindfold, but never have her put it on.

Minor grammatical errors here and there, not too bad though.

Perhaps a rewrite is in order? A Wish Granted-Redux?

Or a prequel, then sequel?

I will wait, and watch.

More Please keep writing

Anonymous critics love to hide behind their screen then tell you what you should have done! I just SMH at how they enjoy doing that! If I leave a comment it's not Anonymous!

they didn't wait till Saturday! Loved how he claimed her and she loved it! Great story

Five"S" ! Keep em Cumming!!!

Damn HOT!!!!! Thanks for sharing.

more more more to where tom makes her pregnant

another story with the same massive cock bigger than dads, boring same old shit, we need more stories with average cocks and cunts that are not almost as tight as a virgins cunt. make it more real and not like a porn star story. also, the story seems to be rushed and could have been longer. 1 star

5 Stars

Mommy deserves a good fucking and her son is the man to give it to her.

Why wait till NEXT SATURDAY?

Keep on writing.

Can't wait until it's Saturday...

What can I say, but thanks for the read.

I hope there will be a part 2 to this story. 😍 There more here!

DEW MAN!!!!! YOU TELL ONE HELL OF A STORY........THANKS

FUCK!!!!!

Thanks for the idea...this is how I shall finally get my mom into bed with me...blindfold & handcuffs...I shall finally take what I've wanted for over the 30 years & give her what she needs & deserves

Nice, but 21 and still in HS - get real. Acts more like 18 (or younger) calling her mommy - totally out of sync with the way he was treating her.

Other than the inconsistencies, a good read.

A son giving his mommy what she needs all the while the lust for both mother and son will continue to grow as the both become addicted to the power of the incest orgasm. It won't be long until mommy's visions become a reality with her son plowing her pussy in the bathroom, kitchen, living room, perhaps bent over the hood of the family car while parked in the garage. Mom can wear the lingere dad does not appreciate for her son's feasting eyes. I see mommy slipping down the hall in the middle of the night and returning a disheveled mess as she answers the siren call of the incest orgasm. I hope eventually mommy's belly will swell with her son's love child.

A great story

Awesome story!

I love longer stories, but this was a great short story. No need to add more. Great job.

Seems Mom is a little bit of a tramp, married for 20 years and has a 21 year old son. Not sure about Tom, he's 21 and still in Highschool playing football. Maybe he's all dick and not too smart. When he slams the meat to Mom, maybe his being brain damaged kicks in and he call her "Mommy". For someone that has just set up the rape of his mother, calling her mommy seems a little bit wrong.

Still a very good story, just some of the details are a little screwed up.

Sort of a haiku. Short and sweet.

I bumped up the score with a five.

Disappointed really, I’m not into one page wank stories. Of all the stories I’ve read of your, this would have to be your worst. Sorry ⭐️⭐️

Great. Description of the fuck one of the best and I have read hundreds

Wow !

Loved it. Thank you.

Great for what it was.

Every so often a story like this is welcomed.

Bill S.

Oh ja sowas von GEIL

3 stories I have read, with some sentences not msking any sense, due to spelling & grammatical errors. Get a bloody editor!!! & how does her clenched fists pond his sides, when they are handcuffed to the headboard? Good premise of a story, but until you get an editor & remember what you wrote a few paragraphs earlier, I can only give you 💦 💦

Papa Bear

Great. Many thanks for the lovely writing. Thanks for not having the son fuck his mother's face, no tit-fucking, no mother giving the son a blow job, no anal. Thanks.

Same old thing, make the husband look weak as an excuse for wants and emotions to take over. Then just another insipid female dog running around loose. No value here...

Was it really her son? The opening segment while she was in the shower seemed to indicate a ghostly entity . . . .

"A Granted Wish:" - A VERY short, rushed and an almost "stroke style" story of incest.....incest that should have emotions, seemingly emoted love, and an appropriate amount of romance!. As the story is "developed' it is not in the style of true, blood-kin, caring mother and son incest. I failed to check how early in the writer/author's literary writing history is aged, but the story seems to be an early entry into the world of writing, with the back-drop of mother and son incest in order to placate the story theme to attract readers in incest/taboo flavor!

This story in no way on par with'Babies 101" that I just finished.....which was more sophisticated and enjoyable. Of course, I will read many other writings of this writer/author, as I am a devout, appreciative reader of incest/taboo.

The perfect mommy slut for her son.