All Comments on 'Prison Life Pt. 01: The Arrival'

by Nude_Writer

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  • 10 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousalmost 6 years ago
great start

hope the future chapters include some lesbian anal with ass-to-mouth

ptebadenptebadenalmost 6 years ago
I like it

It is only the begining and it seems a hot story. I wish you will start uploading the rest of chapters. Come on! Don't delay them, please.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 6 years ago
Seems Hot

Seems like a hot story thus far. Please keep it going!

PhaesporiaPhaesporiaalmost 6 years ago
A fair first attempt

A couple of SpaG issues in need of editing - missing apostrophes, women instead of woman etc.

Also, ' Despite being only 29, she had the body of a mature older woman' - what does this mean? At 29, all women have fully developed bodies. Are you saying that she is sagging? Starting to get wrinkles?

And: 'Charlotte's fair skin matched her red hair.' - this implies that her skin is also red -if you're using it to describe her blushing, commit to to it a bit more and make that clear. If you're using to describe a typical willowy Irish-style complexion, then 'complimented' might be a more appropriate verb here.

However, those aside, the plot is engaging and well-paced, the dialogue appropriate and with fair verisimilitude and the explicit content isn't overworked, which allows for your readers to better apply their imagination to it.

Good first effort!

Nude_WriterNude_Writeralmost 6 years agoAuthor
Response to Phaesporia

Thanks for the feedback! I definitely want to get better at writing so your comments help. In response to the whole "being 29 with a mature body thing"; yeah I'm not really sure what I meant by that either. I guess I wanted to describe her body as being curvier and fuller than it would be on a 29 year old body, which doesn't really make sense because plenty of 29 year old women have a body like that. Maybe I should've made her a little bit younger for the statement to make sense.

I'll definitely keep your comment in mind as I carry on writing!

DAPSlittlelady50DAPSlittlelady50almost 6 years ago
I like it so far

It’s definitely a good start and interesting.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 6 years ago

Great and interesting start....waiting for next part.

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago
Great start and please keep writing :)

Great start. Please keep writing :)

AnonymousAnonymousover 2 years ago

I wanna see the rest!

2hi2cme2hi2cme29 days ago

Love it keep it going

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I am not a girl. The girl in my pic is Iga Wyrwal. And no, I don't always write when I'm nude. I'm just a pervy dude who loves erotica, porn, and nudity in general. I don't write as often as I want to. I've never really been much of a writer anyway, so it's often difficult to...

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