All Comments on 'Eric and Aly Ch. 01'

Your biosketch gives conflicting information. You wouldn't think it should matter. A story should stand on its own. But somehow a story from a first-person female narrator who shows herself to be a bit shy, a bit vulnerable, who is so genuinely pleased that a guy finds her attractive, comes across a lot more charmingly when the reader can imagine that it is somewhat autobiographical. The girl in this story has an inner life with wry observations, insecurities, desires not unlike my own, the reader thinks, and there must really be girls like this, because the story was written by a female author. On the other hand, if the author was a male, then how can the reader have any confidence that he knows what the inner life of the heroine is like? Maybe he just made it all up.

I liked Aly's persona and her tone of voice. But Eric is puzzling. Why was he so patient and shy during the first three dates and so forward on the fourth?

I enjoyed this a lot. Part 2, not so much. I felt like that other one was almost a completely different writing style. As for the previous comment from anonymous, I don't care about the author's gender when writing from either a man or a woman's perspective as long as it's good, and this one was.