All Comments on 'After Dinner'

Constantly switching from 1st Person (I, me, my, mine), to 2nd Person (you, your, yours), and back again, often in the SAME sentence is incredibly jarring. Please choose one point of view and STAY with it throughout the entire story.

Did you do any proofreading at all before you submitted? Just a few examples:

"I chocked as the cock in my mouth ..."

"... opened my door and pulled you me out of my seat and to my feet."

"... took off my blindfold, handed you a plastic trash bag with my clothes and ..."

Was her master there or not?

"When Master opened the door and pulled you into our room, I finally burst ..."

How many people are there?

You do write vividly and have some excellent phrases but they are very hard to appreciate given the effort needed to decipher who is doing what to whom? At least find a buddy to read it before you submit, to eliminate the most glaring typos. There are a multitude of potential editors on this site. But keep writing as you show promise.

I liked it. Minor issues toward the end 'when master opened the door and you...'

The story itself was interresting to read.

I don't think you should give your reader the choice of the ending..you decide and commit. : ) The reader will follow.

Josie ; )