All Comments on 'The Silver Guardian Bk. 01 Ch. 02'

They apologized way too many times.

Looking to what comes next

The conversations were clunky but no problem this is your first time writing and it’s better than anything I could write keep up the good work

Thanks for the feedback and I can see what you are talking about. Dante is a rather reserved and a bit shy being such a loner and I tried to make the initial conversation a bit strained and awkward. Didn’t come out quite like I hoped and it shows. This is also what I refer to as the “raw” version as it hasn’t seen the work of my editor. I suspect when I replace this with the polished version it will work a bit better. For now it suffices to give a bit more of the story. I posted the first three chapters before they were edited (newb mistake) but will be replacing them as the edits come out.

Thank you for letting me know though and will keep it in mind for my future writing.

DaddyIrishman

I like what you have written so far but this story is "vaguely" similar to "Orphan" by V-Jax. (Not sure if I have spelled the authors handle right, sorry)..

Still, I am looking forward to seeing where this story goes... Good job so far.

Hi Anon,

I’ve read that story and enjoyed it, though I wish it wouldn’t have abruptly ended. There are certainly some similarities and it did inspire some of the opening I did here so you’re not mistaken. I thought the car crash was a good introduction and decided to use it as well as a wounded warrior since I’ve always enjoyed those stories myself. In no way am I trying to “rip off” someone else’s work but I liked the idea of the opening and a few things in the story and tried to use it for my own. As I said not trying to “rip off” anyone but I pulled inspiration for setting and characters from several sources on here that I either liked or wanted to see continued etc. Its my own take on it and once the story really gets going later on there is very little that is similar.

-DaddyIrish

Both Chapters 1 and 2 edited have been submitted and are awaiting to be published. Chapter 3 was just edited and I have submitted it this morning for publishing. Should have a new chapter up and the other two cleaned up versions up as well soon. The story continues and Chapter 4 should be to me soon and will also be posted soon too.

- DaddyIrishman

Only 1 page chapters? Good start but why only 1page per chapter?