...the sex scene in this and another story of yours are almost identical (male to fem). "Wham! Right up the ass" twice is being a little unimaginative. Just take your time. Something better will come to you. Play it out. Maybe write something longer and think about varying the approach. There are signs of good writing here. Keep it up.
English
Lots of fun
even though it is completely implausible. If only dykes were more open-minded about fucking guys!
But they aren't, on the whole.
I might not be reading these in order, but...
...the sex scene in this and another story of yours are almost identical (male to fem). "Wham! Right up the ass" twice is being a little unimaginative. Just take your time. Something better will come to you. Play it out. Maybe write something longer and think about varying the approach. There are signs of good writing here. Keep it up.
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