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wasted short chapter
What was he telling us? Couldn't make sense or wonder why he was telling us this. Why didn't he make that part of the background of his story when he told of the tragic affair affecting paula's family. All that would have come into view to making this chapter show us his plan for working on the dilema he now face and what he is going to to to get his wife back, divorce her, extract revenge or what. Paron me author, but tis was a wasted chapter. Question: After 2 chapters, who in the hell is Donovan and when does he come in this story if I might ask?
rewrote
Plese give us new new materal...... what dose he do to get her back dose he want her back. Was this a plot by someone to take her money? dose he get revenge... give us something new
to quote
Judge Mathis-"this is going to be a long one Doyle". I agree with the other posters. Please get on with the story.
Too short
Your chapters are too short for me to get anything, but confused and frustrated. There is no talk about him getting mad, and wanting revenge. The first chapter should have include chapters 1, 2, and 3, possibly 4 also depending on when you introduce his desire for revenge. If he loved her so much, why didn't he just go home and talk to her. Tell her how he feels that this was a mistake, and wants her to end it. If she refuses, then it is time to discuss then ending of their marriage. If she wants to have extra-marital sex, then it's time to divorce her, and have revenge ( preferably severe) on the guy. If she decides to stay married, at least he will need counselling - probably both of them.
Did it really take you
five days to come up with this drivel.
You told us nothing.
No revenge in sight
I liked it alot
The writing is very good. I think so many readers are complaining, though, because it is taking you so long to get through the backgroud and Brandon's current sick feelings. Readers want to get on to some action, what actually happened that brought his wife together with the black guy, what he felt at the time and then get on with what he is going to do about the situation.
Ok when ..
is Brandon going to get down on his frail white knees and suck some black cock ? eh ?
Talk Radio
Somehow reading the feedback on this story reminds me of conservative talk radio. Why is that?
Mormon Boy?
I'll bet Paulas parents are really happy now if they were against Brandon to start with beause he's not mormon. [:-))
I think Brandon in gonna jack himself to death in this sordid motel room.
Is the title the clue?
Chapters 1 & 2 have done a good job of setting up the rest of the story. I'm sure that all the other readers (including me) have put together the way we would like the story-line to go in this story. Hopefully the title of the story is pointing in the right direction.
I found the author's character development quite good. Why he chose to place the "hero" (or cuckold) in a cheap motel room has us all wondering.
I will definitely check out chapter 3 and .....
Brandon is welcome to borrow my AK-47 if he needs some backbone.
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