You need to work on developing a story line so you bring the reader into your story with you. The sex was not bad but needs work also. To me it felt a little mechanical. Please don’t let my comments put you off.
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English
Needs more story line
You need to work on developing a story line so you bring the reader into your story with you. The sex was not bad but needs work also. To me it felt a little mechanical. Please don’t let my comments put you off.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Neighbors or
More submissions by ainu.