Which is why I gave the rating I did. The flow of your story, however, was severly hampered by the grammar. Please understand that I am not trying to bash your work, or belittle it in the least. It was a very erotic tale indeed. But if the grammar had been cleaned up, I am quite sure that you would have gotten an H for this. Have you considered having someone else proof read? At any rate, I look forward to more of your stories.
by
Anonymous02/18/05
Love These Interviews!
Nothing more erotic then a BBW with a short skirt and I believe she had it all! Nothing better then breaking the tension during and interview and she BROKE it!
This is a really good story. I agree that the grammar could be better; there are a lot of phrases that are not complete sentences. However the story line comes through, up until Tony appears and that appearance is completely unexplained, as if there should be more to the story. Has part of it been truncated?
Still I love the detail of their coupling.
by
Anonymous03/16/05
Very Nice
I wonder how real this is in your mind. Fellow Okie here, loving your story and wanting you to take it further. Kisses!
English
that was good
amazing actually, keep up the good work! interesting to see whats next eh?
Thank you!
I am glad you enjoyed it! I have only posted one other story but so far I have had good comments on both.
Bigbeautiful
The story line was quite good
Which is why I gave the rating I did. The flow of your story, however, was severly hampered by the grammar. Please understand that I am not trying to bash your work, or belittle it in the least. It was a very erotic tale indeed. But if the grammar had been cleaned up, I am quite sure that you would have gotten an H for this. Have you considered having someone else proof read? At any rate, I look forward to more of your stories.
Love These Interviews!
Nothing more erotic then a BBW with a short skirt and I believe she had it all! Nothing better then breaking the tension during and interview and she BROKE it!
Good Story
This is a really good story. I agree that the grammar could be better; there are a lot of phrases that are not complete sentences. However the story line comes through, up until Tony appears and that appearance is completely unexplained, as if there should be more to the story. Has part of it been truncated?
Still I love the detail of their coupling.
Very Nice
I wonder how real this is in your mind. Fellow Okie here, loving your story and wanting you to take it further. Kisses!
Very good
Nice start. You might want to use more commas and semi-colons in your writing. Keep writing.
it worked
got me hard!!
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