All Comments on 'Payback'

Has to be the best opening sentence I’ve ever read. “The penis sliding in and out of me....” That’s gold👍. 5*

Are we going to see another chapter of this tale? I hope so.

Ausfet, this is superb. It is so well constructed and, despite the big unanswered question (plus a couple of smaller ones), no more is needed.

(Although the Angels' question did get an answer, I'm not sure the standard audience response is appropriate in one to one situations.)

Lue

A couple of one night stands contrasted against first love, with so many answers unquestioned. This was intriguing and a little frustrating, but a lot of the bigger story is unfolding, albeit with reluctance, so we don't really know about possible children, the details around murder, was it solved unsolved, racially motivated or not, and whether they were happy at the end. Many hints about what was wrong with the newly married couple's sex experience in the early years but how was it 15 or nearly 20 years on, because wee still do not know exactly when Angus died. So, is this all we are getting, assuming she'll be his 15 and 9 night girl until they see how they go? 5* from me because the writing and the edginess of the piece was first class.

As in 'Building Inspection' you've got me from the opening sentence - hook, line and sinker! I agree that 'Radish Man' is something special.

Welcome back.

Al G

What an emotional rollercoaster. I hope this is just the beginning. Phenomenal. The interaction between Helen and Ciaran, with all its subtext is so poignant! Wow - two very damaged souls. You create the most uniquely complex and compelling characters. It's a gift to read your submissions again. *****

Your writing is beautiful, and never predictable. This was sad and totally engrossing. Of course we want to know much more about Helen, but at the same time we are okay with settling for what you've told us. Thank you so much for this story!

ohio

and then...wham! You're such a folking good writer. My eyes water. My index finger twitches. Please don't let me die before your next story is posted!

Wonderful sad story. I hope we learn a lot more about Helen's past and future life in the chapters to come. Very well done. Five stars.

Just superb, no other word will do. And complete; in spite of all the loose ends, the story is a complete stand-alone, as is. To fill it in would be to upset the wonderful balance. Ausfet's characters are always complex, frequently flawed, and struggling for something, just like real people. Some of the best writing I've seen on this site, ever.

I just love your style and story lines - I never know what you're going to write next... keep 'em coming!

This story remains my favorite even with the passage of time. Superb character development and plot. It’s really brilliant, earthy and raw. Aspiring authors take note! The whole series is so well done; just poignant. Radish Man is likewise excellent, and there are others, too. These are stories that make you ache.