All Comments on 'My Daughter's Secret Plan'

but got a little mixed up with his cock being in her pussy then the next time between her tits

The writing was so poor. From third person to first person, from past tense to present, commas wher there should be periods and periods where there should be commas. Could not read it.

I agree the tense and punctuation problems were noticeable. Really detracted from a decent but and true incest story. You're a relatively new writer. Get with an editor to perfect your stories?

2 stars

DragonRider55

The frequent shifting point of view made it difficult to follow. Jumping back and forth made me dizzy.

Mom wanted her husband to be taken care of after her death.

Hope you have another chapter when the other daughters find out about Abby and their Daddy.

Will they all want to share Daddy.

Your writing shows promise....love the build-up and mutual respect.... but for ALL the reasons mentioned already, it was very hard to properly enjoy!! Keep writing, and improving.... perhaps one chapter per daughter, and showing how deliciously different each one is.... his youngest is submissive?? LOL

Mostly enjoyed your story, but some things through me off. First, the "pure luck that her mother had gotten sick and died" line really bothered me sound like Abby didn't care about or love her mother, which seems untrue from the rest of the story, but comes across as heartless and took me out of the scene. Second, the point of view change was awkward and unexpected leaving me to have to re-read a couple of times to understand what happened. Maybe some other things, but those were the main and hope you can take them to make your story / writing even better. Thanks

So, they met when she was about 19. Their names for each other are kind of creepy at that age.

You need some editing. There are several grammatical errors that are distracting. There is also a section that looks like an alternate scenario that you wrote and included both, confusing the order of events. The story ended too abruptly considering all of the detail you put into the setup. Just tweak it a bit. More sex would be good. Maybe more detail about how they intend to stay together given that family situation you gave us.

It's good work; it just needs a little polish.