by My Erotic Tale
... I struggled a little bit with the cadence, I loved the feel of this verse. It reminded me of my grandfather's plot on a bend in the Ohio River. Thanks. ~Imp
This is a good poem and paints a lovely picture, but it
does read off a little. I'm being burned and thrown out
of an SUV at high tide at 25mph, but I do like this
plot you have pictured here.
Sure, it may need a little more tweaking, but many poems do.
This one part may need one less rhyming word:
A nice serene scene
for my last day dream
I think serene scene isn't working (in this poem).
Once again, it's a good poem! :)
This poem was mentioned in the Archival Review thread, in a picking through Lit's archive of over 38,000 poems.
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