All Comments on 'Payback Ch. 02'

Two emotionally and sexually complex and complementary people.

The tension builds for Helen, from the decimation of her life with Angus to its resuscitation with Ciaran.

The future/past doom/salvation plot structure is dynamic and engaging.

Thanks. I look forward to the rest of Helen’s saga.

Good to see a second chapter. There's a lot going on here, both on the surface and much deeper. Of course, the big unanswered question is what happened to her husband and the foster children? Ciaran is an interesting character, too.

Poignant and tender yet at times a biting commentary on race relations in Australia. One of the comments from part one suggested that there was no need for a part two. After reading this chapter in some ways I agree with that. Chapter one was a vivid snapshot of two people dealing with their own shit thrown together for one night. The questions of what went before or after were incidental as the reader observed the interplay between them.

Now we are embarking on a long and winding road. The slow drip feeding of past facts interspersed with present day. It’s still enthralling but I think this chapter lacks the “fizz” of chapter one. No doubt Ausfet has a few tricks up her sleeve and I will certainly be staying on till the end. 4*

Charlie, it was me that suggested the story should have been left as a puzzle and required no further parts after the first one. Now I have to disagree with you and say that I thought this second chapter was even better than the first.

I love the complexity of this story and even the sideline excursions (such as Buzz the dog) that add extra reality to the emotions and the actions of Ausfet's characters. I felt that I understood all of them so much more after this chapter.

And we still haven't had the big question answered. Payback? To whom? And specifically for what? Was the spear in the leg a payback clue? After the first chapter which I thought was a stand-alone one, I was happy to leave the questions unanswered. Not now.

This story seems to be headed for a happy ending, but with the record of disasters Ausfet has had Helen suffer so far in her life, it would be a bold move to make that prediction.

Is it something about the steamy Brisbane climate that produces excellent female Literotica authors? Ausfet, Ellibabe; maybe my writing will improve if I move north?

Lue

Is it strange that I am dreading reading about Angus’ murder? Your story is very compelling and I look forward to the next chapter. Thanks.

Well worth waiting for - you're clearly enjoying the writing of it. Write on, write on.

Chapeau.

What a great storyteller you are! And what interesting vocabulary you use to describe it!