All Comments on 'Jake's Sisters Ch. 01'

Very good lead up! You got a hit! The thrill and anticipation is delightfull! It was well written and believable! I do look forward to the next installment!

That brother is going to be one lucky guy!!

Thanks for writing!

Sexmate

You have a really good opening. Aside from a few spelling and grammar errors it was great.

Good build up. Looking forward to the next installment

Very well written, i could't stop reading once i started...

Can't wait to see what happens next!

Really gets you going, couldn't stop reading

You have GOT to continue this one, man.

Now.

Don't waste time reading this...GO!

Write!

PLEASE FINISH

Just like everybody else i thought it was great. Please finish this great story

this is good keep going

Jessica needs his cock inside her! And then the rest!

Mean stopping point!! Get back too it soon!!!

yes please keep this one going and hopefully mom gets to be included as well.

i love that, i cant belive that you left all you readers hanging like that though. but its good, coz it will keep us wanting more.

really cant wait for the next installment. thanx.

Pretty good, little formulaic, but pretty good. Please do us all a favor and double check for typos and mis-spellings. Those can be distracting. Keep going, though, it seems to be getting good.

More like 90% - just sort out the odd errors... and beware repetition. Sorry for the negatives - I think we could have a classic in the making!

Lukas

Most of the stories on here are derivatives & some are down right rip-offs only with pit hair or something put in place somewhere. At least you acknowledged the influence & I gotta admit that "Party of Five" from VertigoJ is a fantastic series that everyone who read this must read as well! You picked a hell of a winner to go from & I wish you luck in the chapters ahead! I like your spin on the characters & the way you're building it up. The one thing I can say about this is that is resembles "Party of Five" quite a bit only it's faster.

-Jim

wow this was a hot story i read alot and this one is great hes so lucky its almost exactly what happened with me and my sister only that was really an accident

is nice.

This is what makes or breaks a story, methinks. Some stories here, while excellently written, tend to skip build ups and get to the screwing instantly.

And with the immense volume of submitted works here, it's inexplicably difficult to create a completely original piece.

Nice work.

Very close to Vertigo's story. I loved it

Hey great story, love the background and the build up of the story, cant wait for the next installment. this shows the emotion unlike most of the others i have read. keep up the good work!

yap... Party of Five and A BOy in Babeland are of the same storyline... just, Party of Five is the epic type thing and the language, character build up, depth of characters are great there... whereas, this and A boy in babeland lack in those sections.... no characterization.. just too fast to sex bits... even Jake wasn't introduced properly... oh well.... at least the sex scenes should be great.. as, a true story is not expected ... but, Pof is best.. real story...

so unrealistic no guy living in a family of all girls would put up with all the teaseing and would surely have a lock on his door and make sure the door was always locked even when he was not in there keep it atleast sounding realistic if chapter one is this bad i won't waste my time on the rest

Its just Po5 with much less character build up and very unrealistic. The best thing about party of 5 was it's character build up. The charcter build up was so good in Po5, you could predict the behaviour of each character in that story. This is a poor attempt in recreating Po5.

This story all the girls need a huge dick every one must have a bucket cunt.

If sandy who is shy wishes her boyfriend had a 9 inch dick she might need a few Husband stitches in her twat.

This might turn out to be great story in the end, but you're going about Jake's situation in the wrong way. Having a big dick is fine, but for that to be the sole reason for his 24 year old sister to help him in curing his shyness around girls is shallow and immature.She would have considered helping him because she loved him and knew that her brother is a nice guy.She could begin helping him by talking to him, giving him pointers to the female mind. Once he would be comfortable conversing with and being around girls, sex and the rest would follow on its own accord with or without all the sisters' help.

And the other comments are right when they say you need you build up to the event between Jake and Jessica. Your plot might actually have worked if Jake had an 18 year old sex crazed sister. I shall try to suspend disbelief and read further.

A good story spoiled by silly mistakes, without them I'd have scored it a four at least.

...but, please, in the future type it in a word processor and spellcheck.

Might be a good Idea to use the help of an Editor.

You got a 3 from me, but with flawless spelling it'd have been a straight 5

So there were a few spelling mistakes, so what? Still a great story. I enjoyed it, and look forward to the next chapter.

Good Start hope to see more in the near future. Yes spell check would help, but that is not that big of a problem. For those who want to make a big deal about it you should shut up and write your own stuff. I think once you do you'll either write some of the most boring stuff in the world knowing it is spell check perfect or get so caught up in your writting that once in a while a error will get missed. So which is more important a good story or being perfect? Hope to read more soon from you.

with great timing,,,and good pacing,,,tittilating!! will he get laid by jessica or not? well of course he will, but its the journey that counts,,,do not care about spell check,,,no body is perfect!

The story is good but if you use a spellchecker remember it ONLY

checks for correct spelling. Words like to,two and too will seem to be correct but "going TOO far" is correct but not "to far"

A tshirt has a seam not a seem and you don't "decide weather to" (I wish we could!) you decide whether to.It's our funny english language I'm afraid.People say "What's all the fuss about spelling, it's the content that matters". Not so, an incorrect spelling sticks out like a sore thumb and interupts the flow of the narrative which diminishes the story.This is intended to be helpful not a "put down" please take it as it's intended

Why would any1 want to follow that annoying pussy of a protagonist for multiple chapters?

a polite phrase that was a byword of gentility a while back used to be: "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."

It still applies today if class and politeness mean anything to one.

Jake's a very lucky boy. He's got five gorgeous sisters, and a really big prick. Some of his sisters have already discovered what their brother's got swinging in his pants, and it makes their cute little cunts real wet. Wanna bet Jake's going to lose his cherry real soon? He'll find out what his sisters already know--that a brother's sperm belongs up his sister's twat.

Honestly? Its funny. This story sounds really familiar, OH YEA. ?

Because there is a story with 26 chapters in it, on this website, called "Just the six of us"

&& its about an 18/19 year old boy, Mike. Who ends up having sex with his 4 sisters. His twin Emma, his older sister Beth, his other older sister Danni, and his eldest sister Sarah. Hmm. && in that story, a Scene JUST LIKE THIS, happened with Mike and Sarah. Hmm. Stolen much?! >.< Goshh. Be original ..?

Anonymous 08/08/13 Jake's Sisters was posted 4 years before Mentalcase posted Just The Six Of Us. So this is the original story of the two of them

Seriously you should consider a proof reader for your work. Your spelling is atrocious and your grammar isn't much better. I had to stumble through quite a few paragraphs and re-read them to insert the proper words while reading. A BIG distraction.

ssg- might have had an issue with a word or two, but i didnt notice anyhting else during the read.

Didnt really notice the gramatical errors, course I have insomnia, heh... And I dont care if this is a spinoff of just the six ofus or a similar story, or if they are spinning this one.. As long as its different enough to be enjoyable!

The only thing better than harem stories is sister harem stories, yessss!! ;)

I wish you would add more chapters.

Good start so far... Few minor slightly annoying typos but not enough to put me off wanting to continue reading. Looking forward to reading more...

He shouldn't have called Sarah that damn word. They can argue sure, but a guy shouldn't call a girl that, since she's his sister it makes it worse. He could've said, "Jerk" or something.

Couldn't get past where the sisters held him down and cut his hair because they thought it looked stupid. Now that I have a sense on how you write, I know I won't read any more of your stories. 1*

"Jake's Sisters Ch. 01;" - Early Mid-forties (Married/Widowed ??) District Attorney Mother, Jane; and Twenty-four Year Old Medical College Daughter, Jessica and Twenty-two Year Old College Senior Daughter, Lindsey and Twenty Year Old College Sophomore Twin Daughters, Sarah & Sandy and Eighteen Year Old High School Senior Son, Jake.

Mother Jane has a busy employment position as a District Attorney; her children of four (4) daughters and her youngest being a son are responsible and take care of the home-front. Her children are socially responsible.

Eighteen year old son, Jake is female-challenged, girl-shy and a virgin. His eldest sister, Jessica walks into his bedroom while he's charging his large male, life giving appendage. She's the oldest child, and feels she and her sisters owe their brother their sexual knowledge; she of course has pale desires for her brother to dork her sisterly pussy. She also, within a couple days, divulges her brother's male-jewel to all her sisters. He begins to relish his sisters' attention to his male libido happiness--and Jessica wants him to herself!

The story is rather fast paced, and short on foreplay details, although it is early in the brother's sexual awakening with his sibling sisters. There's no inclination, yet, that Mother Jane will eventually become the elder matriarch of her five (5) children's incestuous awakenings.

The story is short on foreplay details (so far). The dialogue of the character's relationships is mostly into the incest sexual orientation. There is minimal misspelling; though, there are half dozen or so of the correctly spelled-word used--"to" for "too" and "their" for "they're" and incorrectly spelled "seem" for "seam," etc.

In stories of incest I dislike more than the twosome, male and female couple. If a familial sibling coupling of more than a twosome, upwards to a brother and his (maybe four) sisters, and their mother--if all family participants are willing, I'm agreeable to the story theme. In my opinion the ultimate in the incest genre is there is no one outside the immediate family, as this story seems to be pleasantly heading! The ultimate whipped cream on top is the sibling couple that romances and falls in love--which does happen in real situations--and they willingly become parents, living as normal lives as possible. Lastly, the story theme is great; it's lively, has sibling love and caring. Congratulations on a very good start to what appears to be a great story!

I would assume English is not your first language,😂