All Comments on 'Chinese Eyes'

Way to go, Chloe! A nice tribute to golden brown Aussie surfer boys, the best music in the world, and Holden Sandmans, and you nearly nailed the accents ;).

You almost got yourself down to my old beach, another seven miles!

Another wonderful story by my favorite author. Takes me back to the days of my R&R in Sydney in 1970! Wish I had met a Charlie like this one...but it was a great experience nonetheless. Thanks for the new addition to an impressive line of stories. Were worried that you'd move into the pay-per-view and deprive us of your talent! Snoopy!

Thx Electric Blue (Icehouse? Now I'm panicking. Omg did I include Icehouse in the musicians and bands?).

And thx Snoopy. Despite my first novel ("Mistaken Identity" by yours truly) now being available on that internet site that begins with A (shameless plug), I have no intention of forsaking Literotica. It's far to much fun here and I like the readers and the vibe. I even like the trolls. Mostly. Lol. So I'm splitting my time now between stuff to publish and stuff for Literotica.

Seriously, the scale only goes to five? Really? This might be your best one yet, and I just don't think you've got a bad story in you. Please, follow MugsyB's example. We want a book.

Gosh, Chloe, that reminds me of an unfinished story about biker culture that someone had posted here on Lit a while back. Sorry, just jerking your chain a little bit. Seriously, I loved this. Good to see you back here.

And again the lady knocks one out of the park! You go girl!

Very brave to try and capture Ozzie English, I got a bit worried earlier on with your "got a buckleys" when it is alway "you've got buckleys". But great story, wonderful hot sex from the girls prospective. Keep up the great story telling. Well done mate!

Fantastic. That's how it's done. And thank you for calling her 'Charlie'. Made my day. ;-)

You've got to come to Melbourne. It's waaaaay better than Adelaide. And Sydney. There's a brilliant Ferris wheel there...

Seriously though, I laughed, I choked, and I enjoyed this very much.

Jase.

As was said earlier its tough to capture the traits of another country's idiosyncrasies...you did well a few mishaps. Its arvo not arbo too.

chloe really well done you even almost got our unique oz accent down right. I loved the storyline too. Keep up the good work

Freaking awesome! I loved it. Always do. Your characters are just so lovable!

That was so fun. And sexy. And wonderfully romantic, for two beautiful characters. And the surfing descriptions were great - it's actually impossible to describe, but you're damn close!

Somehow you captured our "laid-back" nature. Some of the dialogue was pure Crocodile Dundee, but who bloody cares! 6 stars if I could.

Next story, some CURRENT Oz music! Try Sampa the Great, Cat Empire, King Gizzard & the Lizard Wizard, etc.

You delivered, as I knew you would. Full marks from me. You wrote the perfect story for the theme. That's not always easy, but you were smooth as silk. Randi.

My wife is Chinese, back home in China this summer visiting her elderly mom with our young son.

Her eyes are what attracted me when we met in 2005. She is definitely not take out chow mien. This story touched me and I am going to tell her how much I miss and love her later this morning when we skype.

Been reading Literotica for several years and often thinking I want to write a story, but never really the nerve. I am 72 now and will retire soon. Wife almost done with school and I will become the stay at home dad. Thankfully her much younger Chinese eyes still find this old guy attractive enough. No more excuses left, other than to brace for all the critics of my feeble attempts to put thoughts on paper.

Thanks Chloe, you have inspired and helped me move forward, Now I just need to finally register on the site. One less excuse keeping me from my story.

Hongye

The distance between the mother and the daughter was rather contrived and bizarre, but I understand you needed that for the big surprise ending.

As complete and unlikely as any fantasy can get, but that's love and romance. Or at least its nice to think it could be.

Thank you for your time and talent.

Thank you, Chloë, for a wonderful story.

I was very impressed with your use of our Oz vernacular but in all my 74 years here I've never heard 'arbo'. I suggest a global change to 'arvo'.

Well done.

I'll be reading your back catalogue.

Cheers,

Michael

Good imagination, good writing = good stories ,,,

simple equation...

Chloe, I totally loved the story. I try to figure in the beginning what direction a story will take. I was wrong. It was a very sexy, romantic story. It deserves more than five stars. Thank you for an enjoyable read.

...ups and downs. I had not run across anything of yours before.

I like this. Let’s see if I like your other offerings as much.

Thank you!

Excellent writing style. Your dialog and descriptions are great and to the point without getting to be verbose. Very sexy scenes! Unsurprising twist at the end, but an overall SUPERB story!!

5 Stars!!

You are definitely one of the best. Thanks for your brilliant stories!

Awesome as always. You are an incredible writer. Just the right touch between sex, humour and keeping the action moving.

And here's my age showing.... the term Shaggin Wagon is originally from the late 60's and 70's. Do a google search for images some of those vehicles are quite spectacular. I'm not sure how many western countries used it, but I know Canada and (apparently) Australia did. I would suspect the US also as Flower Power (hippies) were pretty extensive up and down the western coast of North America.

I put off reading this for some reason and I remember when I first started and couldn't keep going. I just began again now and I'm glad I finished.

I read all the previous comments to see how well you got the Aussie vibe across since it's something I'm just barely acquainted with. It sounded like you nailed it from my brief experience and the seasoned Aussies confirmed it. Stellar on that end, from the slang to how they spoke. This always proves the hardest part to capture and preserve in writing from my different-sided literary experience.

I hate to sound like the spoiler here, but I must say it: throughout your writing-style evolution, one thing some have stated is the amount of run-ons employed and this story had a lot: in some ways they worked because of how they fit the scene/thought sequence/action (about 1/3) but in a surprising number of cases, they really distracted from the story because the sentences were wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too long (about 2/3). In theory, there was a good mix of short, medium and long sentences/thoughts in there, but it shocked me the number of combinations that didn't work (in other stories they flowed better). This is the wrinkle that needs smoothing out to provide the totally flowing reading experience.

If there would be one other thing I would point out, independent probability is completely against Bruce being Alex's dad and Charlie's mom meeting him to so enable Charlie and Alex to stay "hooked up." I'm all for happy endings, but sadly another author on Lit has totally ruined me on things that are always "too convenient" in his tales and I must point out this is too convenient as well.

Otherwise, great break from "Rick," who really wasn't so "cool" nor considerate as opposed to Alex that's cool and not the "shag 'em and bag 'em" type I first feared he might be. You've continued using song very uniquely in your stories and have made that device your own. Keep that up as you feel it appropriate. Nice feel-good story for Charlie and Alex, which you didn't rush. Just work out the kink and it'll be special for later tales you weave. 4.

Great story, good pace, enjoyed the surfing descriptions (I could picture it) and always love a happy ending. Roger.

I'm a little biased because I like things in Australia (my first foreign visit ever). Personally, I think this must be one of my most favorite stories of yours. I feel that there's something a little different about the way you wrote and it is better than previous stuffs. Overall, I like this. Good job!

Wow, hands down one of the very best stories I have read on Lit. Looking forward to reading more.

Still waiting, hoping for that story about stuck up Asian feminists being put in their place. Or the reverse. We're not saying you need to bring in characters who post on stormfront.org (who here could even know what they're like?). In fact, the more naively they come by their Nationalist consolations the better. And the added bonus is offending your hated PC rivals. For me, I'll just get turned on and share with my yellow bitch who will too. You're the best.

Sweet and lovely first time story. I normally don't read this but I'm glad I did. The Siren's song ( story) Chinese Eyes was a pleasure, groovy, cool, hot, phat, and slays....lol.

Thanks for the read ChloeTzang..

AMerryman

Just wanted to say I really appreciate your comments and feedback. Thanks a million all of you.

This is the third story of yours I’ve enjoyed reading, and I’ve given them all 5 stars - and I’m a veteran Literotica reader. You really have great talent and skills (the pedant in me will happily gloss over the occasional ‘to’ where it should have been a ‘too’) - and you are particularly good at descriptive passages.

I love how well you picked up the surfing vernacular, and you’re no slouch with direct, arousingly onomatopoeic language too!

With only three read, you’re well bookmarked now - and I’m looking forward to much more enjoyment (which will be shared with my relatively new partner - we met on the beach as it happens) ahead.

Go girl - you're good!

And (manners please!) thank you!

That was very sweet. I don't know what it says about me that I was waiting/expecting Alex to break Charlie's heart all the way up to the end, but I was happy to be surprised.

... although, those are some incredibly horrible parents. I am, however, a little perplexed at why she was forced to go to Australia (I mean, beyond the "that's the story" reason). At her age, staying home seems like it shouldn't have been a problem (even if both parents were off with their lovers); it's not like they were trying to shield the daughter from the knowledge they *had* lovers, given how blatant the mother was. I could see some sort of "last chance to bond with my daughter if I'm going to move to Australia" thing, except that the mother seemingly had zero interest in any of that.

Enjoying the different characters and locales you use for your stories. And the pace of the story is great, not too fast, not too slow.

I love your stories

I'm going to try and get a couple of your hard-copy books at the bookstore. jtbsdca

I loved your written Aussie

Brought back lots of great memories for me

Thanks

Light-hearted and easy surfer romance... the one you read before falling into sleep with a smile on your face...

This is not the first ChloeTzang story I,ve read and it won't be the last. You're the best!

Excellent read and takes me back to the places and my youth. James Reyne and the boys were a great band. Thought readers might be amused by a popular bumper sticker at the times (Late 70's/early 80's) for the shaggin wagons … "Don't laugh, your daughter may be inside".

Charlie and Alex were lucky to avoid a common pitfall of rooting on the beach, as I did at several of these venues … sand … resulting in the dreaded "crumbed sausage" and no fun for boy or girl, trust me.

I had no idea a well written, romance could also be quite erotic. Apparently, I enjoy romance. Who knew? Not only have I favorited this story, but also the author. I look forward to learning more from ChloeTzang.

I thoroughly enjoy reading all your work, but as a home grown Aussie who just happens to live in Surfers Paradise, I have to point out something that really bugs me in this story. When we shorten the word "afternoon" it is "arvo" not arbo as you have expressed a few times in this submission. Apart from that, I am on board and ready to read the rest of your very entertaining work. Cheers Mate. lol lol

Beautifully told, with a lightness of touch, humour, wit and truly erotic writing about passion and sex!

Bravo! My Chinese eyes are smiling...and my Chinese heart is happy. Thanks, Chloe Tzang!

Loved Australia and the Aussies. Took my R&R there in March of '68. Glad the story muse worked it out for Charlie and Alex that she could stay. Happily ever after may be a fairy tale, but this is fiction and who cares what the reality Nazi's think. If it takes a one in a googleplex chance occurence as her mom and his dad being the hookup that opens the way for them, then that's what had to happen. Never let the muggles bring you down. Great story for the romantics-at-heart.

Cute story.

I cried. :)

Love it, Chloe, and a great choice of song.. Just one note- as others have pointed out, you need to change ‘arbo’ to ‘arvo’.

Come to Melbourne any time.

I love how immersed your character become in the story. Your research is evident and the emotions you allow your readers to feel are very powerful. You’re one of the most talented writers I have ever read. Not enough stars to give you. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Very good story!

Average, unless I wanted to learn Australian, loosing her virginity was almost just another time in her back. Pour girl will never know how it feels to have her pussy licked. Maybe no guy in Australia eats pussy, if that is the case, maybe I need to go and be gigolo.

What can I add to praises heaped upon this marvelous feel-good tale? I kept waiting for the hammer to fall. Instead, I got charmed by this utterly charming tale. Nobody milks more out of a bout of lovemaking, especially young lovemaking, as Chloe. I just loved the sharp contrast between her sucking of Rick’s cock in the opening sequence and her totally self-emptying fellatio performed on Alex. Thank you, Chloe, for delighting me with this feel-good story.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Loved it! What else needs to be said

A good effort for someone who hasn’t been to the places described. Lots of small inaccuracies but there was one thing I could not get past: the term arbo is used lots of times. It is not a word. The actual word is arvo with a V - an abbreviation for afternoon . Unfortunately that killed it for me. I could not imagine the characters as real.

Been years since I’ve been there, thank you for the visuals up and down the Gold Coast.

Good on ya mate

Great story

Never been surfing it’s dangerous, i can’t even stand on a board near the beach …… that was a great tale ….. and fit perfectly in with the relaxed laidback characters aussies are …… wonderful details about how to surf and survive …… and yeah the important detail, lets move to melbs …… smile

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🍀

Dear Chloe, a brilliantly written story, like all that you have written and I have read so far, For someone who has never been to Australia, you have done very well with the geography and local idioms so it it very believable. One very minor criticism- the usually abbreviated word for 'afternoon' is 'arvo', but does sometimes sound as 'arbo'. Now to get on with more of you good works!