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While I think breaking this poem up into stanzas will give it more power, I do appreciate the dynamism of the moments described. This is a thinking poem, that makes us stop and realize it is the small things that make up life and living... do we see it or are we too busy running towards tomorrow?
Nice images with a strong message..
Du~
Mentioned in the Sunday reviews..
wow
again wow, I would say take out some unneeded words, work the verses a little...your imagery, analogies are perfect and snap a whip with each mention and the way you ended it...definately a "stop and think" poem, feel, remember, breath. thank you
Nice.
Really liked the individual emphasis paid to all those little moments we usually never take the time to notice. Very sobering.
Open eyes
So few see that every event in our lives holds limitless possiblities in the outcome. It's the little things that truely shape our lives. Bravo. Oh, and be careful with that bong.
S&F
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