All Comments on 'La Petite Mort'

by bustylibrarian

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  • 17 Comments
tazz317tazz317over 5 years ago
ANTICIPATION FOR A DAY OF SEX

and a good nites sleep until the morn, TK U MLJ LV NV

26thNC26thNCover 5 years ago
Not cheating

No cheating, just living coyple. I'll take it.

texaschucktexaschuckover 5 years ago

Hey it is loving wives. A definite change from the you cheated you die. Or the I want to watch you service the entire raiders defensive line type stories.well done.

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago
When is writing in the second person POV appropriate?

Never.

Richie4110Richie4110over 5 years ago
Sweet

Love a woman's point. Something to dream about.

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago
Every Once and While

It is nice to just read a story where the husband and wife "click" and are totally into each other. That actually does happen in real life more than the BTB stories with ex-special force guys or rich beyond belief guys getting back at their cheating wives. The story was fine but you need to work on your writing skills. Keep it up and you will get there. Thanks for the story!

"Buckeye Fan"

Redo1984Redo1984over 5 years ago
Good for you!

Being able to orgasm like that.

I thought this was good. yeah some polish is needed.

But I do love a busty Librarian.

🤘

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago
"When is writing in the second person POV appropriate?"

Regarding fiction, I'd agree with the "never" answer. However, it does work for documentation.

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago
A fine story as written!

The literary device of writing in the first/second person, present tense, is perfectly valid. And for this story, it is appropriate. (For those who may have forgotten their grammar school grammar, first person is "I, me," second person is "you, you," and third person is "he, him.")

The story is written as either a remembered or imagined sequence of events. The author recounts her actions, words, thoughts, and feelings; she recounts her lover's words and actions. She does not pretend to know his thoughts and feelings. The events happen in an orderly manner with a feeling of love, excitement, and anticipation. There is no need for character development. She is letting us in on her current thoughts, hence the use of the present tense. She has known her lover long enough to know his character. The use of "you" implies familiar endearment. If the author had used "he," it would imply she had no particular face or lover in mind, and would have detracted from the intimacy conveyed in what was written.

Good job, Busty Librarian! The story was developed well and logically, with few or no misspellings or grammatical errors (except for the "e" on "morte"). Thank you.

The rest of us should get a life (or is it "get lives?"), and accept her story as it is, not as we would like it to be.

RJD

chytownchytownover 5 years ago
***

Thanks for the read.

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago
Hot and sweet!

I love that it's written in stream of consciousness style by a woman. We need more looks into women's minds, what they are really feeling and thinking. So much of Literotica is written by guys and many have no concept of what is important to a woman. I'm over 60 and still learning!

Then, too, I find women more interesting than men.

So women, write it down and send it in!

luedonluedonover 5 years ago
Second Person writing

I dislike most second-person writing with an intense dis. I note that there are some who don't agree with me and, BustyLibrariam, you have used this device in other stories with some success.

On the other hand, I'm pretty sure that most readers don't find second-person present-tense stories to their liking.

Second person works well as a letter, written future tense predicting what 'you' and I will do together, or past tense rejoicing in what we have done. It also works well for maintenance manuals and cookbooks, telling 'you' what to do to achieve a good result. Otherwise, as reader I find it difficult to put myself in the place of "you" in your story. (Especially since 'you' is male and I'm not.)

Despite my dislike of the second-person device. I thought it was a good story, well-written and quite erotic in its imagery.

Lue

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago
Great story but the second person pov

Kinda of killed it. Still 4 stars though! Thanks for writing.

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago
Quit the criticism

As always your story is just perfect and had me wanting more more more, ignore the moronic critics.

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago

I agree with the other Anonymous, I love the story from the woman's viewpoint and I also love second person. Keep it up!

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago

We loved the 2nd person tense of the story. We look forward to reading many more stories

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 5 years ago
It isn't second person at all.

It isn't second-person, I say. It's first person. The viewpoint is that of the narrator. True second-person narrative is difficult to do and -- more important -- difficult to make believable. But whatever you call this, it's a bit of a stretch.

Anonymous
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I'm busty and lusty, but not an actual librarian. Yet.