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Great start! Waiting for more!
This has the making of a great story. I hope it continues for many chapters.
Good so far.
This story is really off to a great start and easily has the potential to stretch out into a lengthy series.
Well, it's moderately hot, BUT
the dialog was amazingly stilted. Real people don't talk like this. Basically, I couldn't get through the story, as is usual with your works. And the spelling errors really bother me.
Great Start
I personally happen to like this type of dialogue. The world is full of morons who only understand short, simple words... I appreciate a more intelligent approach. Keep the stories coming!
Jenna
scream
Predictably, there must be a hysterical mother in the near future! I enjoyed this very much. Please continue.
Good - again - but!
As appears usual, your story runs well and develops very satisfactorily. But, as usual, too, you have either omitted to read the story yourself and correct the spelling errors or you are not aware of them.
I suggest you r e a d your work s l o w l y word for word and see where you have left letters out and where you have added extra and unwanted letters.
And, next time, do it before you submit the work - we shall like your work even more!
When do we get Ch. 02?
Ch. 01 was a real teaser. When do we get Ch. 02?
Good story, but
how does she up and decide to fuck all weekend and she knew before he picked her up? I know they were buddies when they were young but I could never had fucked my buddie that quickly after the interim years. I would have but she wouldn't have. It seems very, very sudden. No candlelight and no wine.
I get the suspicion, though, that she'll drop him like a hot potato when it's time for her to leave. Fast in, fast out!
OR, will they decide to remain together with children, the white picket fence and rolling meadow?
Chapter two will show all the answers, I hope.
It' been said before......
Great story, but as others have also asked, where is the second chapter? Really would like to get on with it.
Thanks.
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