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English
Thank you
I'm afraid your 40 years too late, but sigh, what might have been. It was great.
Again, in case you didn't read Ch. 1
As a note:
Please (although no one has so far on this one, thank you very much men =) don't make the assumption that i am saying ONLY men need to do this for women.
no, the companion to this is not out yet, but the first chapter of it HAS BEEN SUBMITTED. there will be a third chapter of this and a trilogy for the LADIES as well. it will be called "Getting The Lover You Want". they are intended to go together.
Thank you.
Abstraction
Hi Golden, good stuff.
What you're trying to get at is the *attitude* a lover needs to have to foster desire and tensions in their love. As young men with raging testosterone, we're pretty oblivious to this - we could screw anything with a hole, so we can't imagine why girls take "warming up". In a nutshell - ladies generally have a more "responsive desire" rather than the more "spontaneous desire" that most men have. Meaning men will experience desire on it's own, unbidden, while women will become aroused as a response to a lover's actions.
Hence why everything you describe is effective: it's all about stoking the fire.
When the ignorant male commenters on Chapter 1 yelled "well why doesn't *she* do this stuff too?", they didn't realize it's because men don't *need* that kind of warming up! The difference is that men's spontaneous desire *can be quenched* by a woman's actions, but it's less likely to be *fostered* or initially *aroused* by her actions. Men appreciate what women do for us, but our sexual desire doesn't stem from (directly) those actions. (Wow, this all just came together for me!)
Back to abstractions - you're giving specific advice, specific scenarios which are *examples* of things which reflect an inner perspective/attitude. Perhaps qualifying each of them as being examples of more abstract concepts will help. It's all about taking a broader view of a specific effective moment, to understand the *idea* of what was going on, rather than the specific implementation of the idea. Because we know that too many men will focus on the specific without thinking about the more abstract *implications* of the example. (Sigh)
Keep up the good work, if just one guy reads this and becomes a better boyfriend, then you've made a difference!
PS...I'm the anonymous on Chapter 1 who defended you. I'm engaged to an amazing woman, who is the lucky object of my attentions and actions, which are similar to what you describe. I try to keep her in my mind, and always work to make her feel good. Guess what...she gives me *anything* I desire (and tells me so).
Nice ideas
Again, showing how schizophrenic a relationship can be.
You want something? Act like you don't! But don't forget to complement her so you can make others envy you for that which you're acting like you don't want!
What's wrong with honesty? "I think you're amazing in every way and I find you irresistible."
Apparently women do not appreciate honesty. Until they find out we lied about something.
Geez, it shouldn't be a game. I won my lady's heart years ago. I never let her forget that she won mine as well. Yet we STILL had a couple of really dry spells recently.
I completely impressed her a couple of months ago with a surprise gift (nothing special, but a heart-felt way of showing how I feel). It touched her deeply and she even photographed it. Then she ignored me for the rest of the evening.
Passion. Affection. Love. Are these really too much to ask? And no, I'm not referring to sex.
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