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English
lame
one of the lamest stories ive read on this site.
It has potential
I have to agree with the person that commented about this story being lame...However..I think the plot has potential if it was developed correctly. Develop the characters of all three of them...with more scenes and drama, and this could be one sexy story.
I wont put you down for your effort..writing is a work of art in progress. Your idea was good, and as I said, just develop it more. Good luck.
-A fellow writer
The Writer's Gift is always flawed for beauty...
Someone is very talented at shaping the flow of their words in this piece. It reads and paints very well in the person's mind.
Sadly, the tale dies too quickly and wrongly, as with a arrogant phallus brain of a man whose wick dies quicker than the woman's flame can even ignite.
The tragedy is far too sudden to make for horror, especially with the talent in which the tale has been spun. Do it slow, creaping, seductive and chilling; horror is at its best when delicious, twisted, grotesque and invitingly seductive. And seduction is always done best slow for every thorn's pinprick to take its time. Otherwise, it is nothing more than a mindless flood which begins and ends like a drunkard's life.
Quite good
It may have been short but it was written quite well and I think if you tried hard enough you might be able to write a book and maybe get it published
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