All Comments on 'Night at the Bar'

Not a bad start. I didn't notice any major errors in grammar. Now the next three people to comment will point out 40-11 of them. LOL

I like the story so far and want to read more.

Go for it.

J.

Liked the beginning of this first submission. Looking forward to reading more.

A bit shorter than what I usually read though.

for a first submission this is very good. i hope see more from you.

very well done. to bad hes a dumbass who goes for shallow, greedy stick figures. he needs to just drag her ass into the stall and, well, as Marvin Gaye would say, Lets get it on!