All Comments on 'Nancys' Coercion'

they broke "the rules", no one gets recompense from them putting everyone at risk - just some weak threats, and then he does this new favor.

he IS an idiot. and an idiot's story just is not exciting to me.

but it wasn't fully realized for several reasons. The change of Nancy's husband's name from Bill to Dick halfway through the story, and just when we were supposed to be getting the picture of what kind of neighbors they were, didn't help.

The part about getting naked in the hallway contributed to the lack of clarity. As did the bit about the secretary. There are better ways of showing that one couple or the other needed "outside" stimulus for full enjoyment.

The uncertainty about the use of apostrophes would have been a much more minor matter, had this been a better-crafted story, but instead contributed to the generally unkempt air: the author knows that a possessive needs an apostrophe, but is still learning to use the apostrophe properly to distinguish a singular from a plural possessive: Nancy's coercion, Bill's house...

Keep working at it--the basic premise had some things going for it, and there was some heat radiating from the bondage scene.