Getting the Lover You Want

Who let you peek into my closet???

Cartoon characters and funny sayings...LOL...I only have a few...and a large number of items with the company logo...hey they were free!!!

Can't wait to see the next chapter...

Love your essays

I'm very excited that you have brought up these topics, how to please your woman and how to please your man. So often folks become complacent in their relationships which leads to boredom, which leads to unhappiness, and keeps rolling downhill.

What goes around, comes around. Whether a woman is thin and tight or a BBW, and whether a man is lean and buff or a BHM (big handsome man) it all has to do with giving and receiving for both partners. I love to give...love it, love it, love it! I also love to receive, very much. I'm so grateful I have a man with whom I can share that great balance!

When a women takes care of her health, her appearance, her psyche, etc., and gives her man subtle or obvious TLC and if he reciprocates in the same manner (taking care of himself, appearance, giving her TLC) it makes for a sensational combo of emotional love as well as physical love...for both partners.

Not every day is going to be sunshine, but with understanding and acceptance, love, affection, and most importantly, communication a healthy relationship is going to include tons of physical intimacy as well as emotional intimacy. Plenty to go around for both woman and man!

I disagree.

Don't assume what we think, as you cannot do it accurately, for you are not our gender.

Men don't need sex to feel cared for. If you value and respect us, that's all the caring we need.

Men don't need to feel cherished and cared as much as women do. Women are far more emotional than men. They are wired with the motherly instinct.

And men don't need compliments to feel better about themselves. Ok, it helps, but not that much.

Funny how your last guide about getting women into bed was about bringing her flowers, not thinking about sex(?) and doing all these other ridiculous gimmicks such as dancing, opera and rose petals... Yet, when it comes to getting men into bed, it's about... compliments.... just... compliments... Oh, and touching...

I hope people aren't actually buying this. Talk about double standards.

*sigh*

i would again like to ask peopel to please NOT assume that the things in THIS essay are the only things guys want.

no, i'm not a guy, but i DID ask just about EVERY guy i know what they would like... and that's what's going into this essay along with my own observations. and there are also two more chapters, that DONT just deal with compliments and touching ok?

please put your assumptions in check! lol.

*HUGS*

hello?

Uh, did she not say this was a GENERAL essay on how to find the guy you want? I E it man not fit YOU exactly. sheesh. For people, especially in the age group where you find long term partners, many men are indeed like this. not all, but enough that I definately agree with her. This sounds exactly like ALMOST all the guys I know. So if youre going to pay enough attention to the essay to complain about it... pay attention to the disclaimer at the beginning.

So when all that fails, what?

@I am darkness - talk about hypocrisy!

Darkness, first off you need to look at yourself before criticizing Goldenangel.

You complained about "don't assume about men", but went right on assuming about men *and* women:
1. "Men don't need sex to feel cared for. If you value and respect us, that's all the caring we need."

No sir, that's what YOU need. If you go out and do any cursory research, you'll find plenty of studies showing that MOST men DO need the appreciation that Golden speaks to. These aren't assumptions about men on her part, they are actually supported by research. However you, sir, have assumed all men feel like you. Also, everything Golden recommends are acts demonstrating that a woman values her man. And since men communicate more by *action* than women do, her actions speak to him in a way he instinctively understands.

2. "Men don't need to feel cherished and cared as much as women do. Women are far more emotional than men. They are wired with the motherly instinct."
Again, *you* assumed about men but *also* assumed about women, while also applying the nonsensical trope "wired with the motherly instinct". Most men DO need to feel "cherished and cared for" as much as women do - it just takes a different form than for women (again, studies have clearly shown this) - men tend to communicate more physically- so (again) her actions will physically show that she *cares* about him. To say that "women are far more emotional than men" has ALSO been disproven in study after study. Men and women experience their feelings differently, but men don't *feel* any "less" than women - just differently.

Finally, that nonsensical trope "women are wired with the motherly instinct" is so ambiguous as to be meaningless. Yes, women bear children and do experience certain hormonal shifts as a result of this biology. But men have those hormones too - and they shift differently. For example, most women experience a spike in testosterone during the peak of their cycle, which is believed to be the primary source of their emotional roller coaster during this period. If this is true, then *men* should be FAR MORE "emotional" than women, since they typically have up to TEN TIMES the testosterone as women do AT THEIR PEAK. Us guys should be flat-out nutters if our wiring was the only mechanism driving us.

Sorry for the rant, but I hate seeing such nonsense go unchallenged. As a guy, I didn't start having good relationships until I un-learned all the BS that darkness spouts, and started looking at women with the understanding that we experience the world and life very differently, so require a different approach to meeting their needs/desires...in other words, what Golden is espousing.

Thanks Golden!

Nicely done

Thanks.