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I liked it BUT....
A pretty hot story. Well written until the end. NOT a believeable ending. She is getting banged in a semi public office and she simply falls asleep when they are done. I think not. For one thing it is us men who fall asleep after sex, not women. You need to rework your ending and it will be an awesome bit of writing.
Thank you for your comments
I apologize for not making myself clear. This is a setting of having worked a really long shift which I do in my office sometimes. Also, it is public but at night/evening there are not many people that can come around and only a few with a key to the building. And working more than 15 hours isn't all that uncommon when it is tax season. :)
You visualize every moment!
The ending doesn't bother me... what I do like is your ability to allow us to "see" it. Well described and a good story - would be a shame to just leave her there sleeping though...
a next day perhaps????
Fun but Marred.
While this plot line is short on originality and character development the erotic content resonates. The story would have been better if edited in a tighter fashion. Is she wearing black jeans or red jeans? Use of the word "done" instead of "down." This may seem like nit-picking but these small errors are jarring and break the mood and continuity of the story.
It's a Hot Story, did you know...
You can fix those things, add more of what ever, then re-submit it as "Working Late at the Office - editted". Take the time and improve your already hot story.
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