You are doing a great job. I like the way you have made me really like the heroine. I can hardly wait to see what happens next.
by
Anonymous04/01/05
What a Crock!
She finally escapes from a mad man who kidnapped her and now she misses him in her bed! I can see it already, she'll miss her captor so much she'll run right back leaving her family wondering about her again.
What a slut. Again, there is nothing romantic about KIDNAPPING!!!!
by
Anonymous04/01/05
We all know how it ends
Better still, he will come to America and kidnap her back to Never Never Land. She will put up a struggle but when he kiss her she willingly go back to him again and then they live happily ever after. This story is a joke. Regarding dignitaries, I almost fell out of my chair laughing so hard. All the dignatires must be in cahoots with Khadeem with no dignities. Make it sound like the that part of the world were all barbarians. We all know how romance section ends usually. But what we want is more believable make-believe story not some elementary fantasies! I read the story because I want to see the content but really-do try and think up of a better plot before you start writing.
First of all, ignore thise nasty comments. Of course a story in the romance section should have a happy ending. We all want the boy and girl together in the end. As for the person who has a problem with the kidnapping, please do see about getting a life. These are fiction stories. Outragous things are suppose to happen. If you have a problem with the story, STOP READING IT. Some of us like this story and for those who just want to be nasty I am sorry for you. If you pick apart everything you read, then I don't know why you are reading at all.
First of all, ignore thise nasty comments. Of course a story in the romance section should have a happy ending. We all want the boy and girl together in the end. As for the person who has a problem with the kidnapping, please do see about getting a life. These are fiction stories. Outragous things are suppose to happen. If you have a problem with the story, STOP READING IT. Some of us like this story and for those who just want to be nasty I am sorry for you. If you pick apart everything you read, then I don't know why you are reading at all.
by
Anonymous04/01/05
What a crock is full of it!!
Thanks for taking the time to write a really good story with a plot, feelings, and some thought ahead as to where your story is heading. It never ceases to amaze me that there are some, so-called, critics that do nothing but set around and read what they call such horrible stories. Some critics like "What a crock" is right, except they should be talking about their life that is so dull they read six chapters of such a horribly written story - Can't they find one they like without reading six chapters. I think the truth is they wouldn't like it if it was a chapter out of the Bible, the Koran, or whatever - they'd find it to slow, or unrealistic, or not enough something or other. Sorry for ranting-on about this subject myself, but I read the comments to see what suggestions other real authors might have, but I get disgusted reading comments from miserable, unhappy people who don't have a life and feel this overpowering need to read somebodies else's work just so they can be nasty and criticize it. Being nasty obviously gives them some kind of a feeling of power that they don't have in real life.
Your story is very good - Thanks for writing it and I will read your next chapter so that I can enjoy it - not criticize it.
by
Anonymous04/01/05
Another Great Chapter!!!!!!!!!
Love this story!!! Please ignore the negative feedback, your story is one of the best I have had the pleasure of reading.
Please continue it soon!!!!!
I haven't read but a few sentence of each chapter after the first. Once the story turned to holding the woman against her will I stopped. I kept checking in to see if the woman would fight against her captors but that didn't happen until she escaped. I had hopes for her until the end, and that promted my comments below. I'm calling a spade a spade. KIDANPPING IS NOT ROMANCE! Can't this Khadeem person win a woman without kidnapping her and holding against her will? NO he can't! He's like all the other women haters who take a woman and then make her THINK she's fallen in love with her captor. It is called the Stockholm syndrome, look it up!
If this story was in the BDSM section I wouldn't have said a word. I don't know how many times I have to say it KIDNAPPING IS NOT ROMANTIC!!!!!!
by
Anonymous04/02/05
Agree whoelheartedly with fdkman
There was no storyline to the submission too. Very predictable and it seems the authour is looking for ego booster only and cannot accept the fact that the story was cheesy and lame. If the authour only wants praises then she can forget about being a good writer. Take the good and the bad and try and do better next time.
As for those so called fans. We read because we want to tell the authour how bad she was doing. We are doing her a favour. You think these kind of story would be bestseller? Doubt it very much.
by
Anonymous04/02/05
dry...
you were doing good...getting into the thick of things, but ended too quick...these submissions need to be longer. Also u need to "up" the dramam factor considering she was held against her will....she can't escape so easily, HELLO she's married to the SHEIKH!
I still am holding out for ya.
Hope to read longer, stronger submissions on this story.
by
Anonymous04/04/05
You are shooting at your own foot
Had this story been set in the olden days maybe even the late 70s where email was not invented yet maybe your story would be more credible.
1)You seems to avoid the issue as this sheik no matter how you look at it had bought her against her will. So nothing romantic about it.
2)To hold someone against her will and have the nerve to say his vows in front of a 'PRIEST is a violation against god or gods. So we must presume the priest is an evil one who is doing satan's bidding to bless an unholy marriage and that leads us to think that the whole country was under satan, devil or lucifer dominance.
3)Dignitaries - Noun - plural, singular- Dignitary: In cambridge dictionary it means a person who has an important official position. I wrote - "Regarding dignitaries, I almost fell out of my chair laughing so hard. All the dignatires must be in cahoots with Khadeem with no dignities. Make it sound like the that part of the world were all barbarians". You argue - "Have you been hiding your head under a pillow? This is the real world...these things happen, this story didn't take place in America".
Hello? Wake up! You are asking me to swallow the fact that the dignitariessss WHICH are important people holding important positions from other countries WERE all barbarians??? And had no shred of dignity to save a foreign chick from a force marriage??? So you are confirming that THAT part of the world IS barbaric? Oh so America or Americans were not. How interesting indeed! And it seems in your argument you avoid answering about the dignitaries! If your story says the sheik was from a tribe I would still be able to swallow that and neighboring tribes that would still consider belieavable.
From what I see the barbaric ones here were Khadeem's families. Seems to me their families are educated but with no moral or respect for another individual but allowing their son to force someone else into marriage which is a barbaric itself. Maybe you should have put your story under Nonconset/Reluctance category that would make it a little more credible.
So negative feedback is not constructive? But when someone says "Bravo! Keep up the goodwork" was considered constructive? What so constructive about that? Did the commenter said why it was good?
4)Her family did not report her as missing after more than three weeks without even a call from her? And she was suppose to be the baby of the family? Interesting indeed. If my son who was now at age 24 and went to another country and suddenly lost contact with me for more than the duration he stayed, I would have alerted the police and checked with the airlines already. Losing someone dearly in a foreign country is something you do not take lightly. I would go through hell to find out what happen even alerting interpol and embassies. We are talking about missing person here.
As far as I am concern the childish one here is you. You did not get all the favorable comments you were expecting and throw a tantrums when your stories were being critisize.
a)Grammar wise, I would rate you 8 out of 10. (I am not good that either)
b)Sex scene , I would have rated you 8 if it was under erotic Coupling/Nonconsent/Reluctance category because it's really nothing but sex. Again I have to stress nothing romantic when taken against your wish.
c)Story and plot wise I would still give you a 2/10. Change the era and setting and your story might have been better. People wants to read good plot. Who doesn't know good romance always had good ending. That is why you call romance right?
Any comments are better than no comments. Hope you don't make these common mistakes again. Do try and think over your plot first whether it was workable or credible. Your other story seems to be ok so don't try to make the same mistake as this one.
Good luck
by
Anonymous04/06/05
YOUR DOING GREAT
I love the story and it never occured to me that she would send an email. having access to a computer was never mentioned. so it shouldn't be assumed that she could send an email. i hope you contiune to write the story and soon!
by
Anonymous04/07/05
Love It
I love your story and can't wait for the next chapter. Please post it soon!!
by
Anonymous04/13/05
Chapter 7
Enjoying this very much. Hoping chapter 7 is coming very shortly..hint, hint!
i was reading some of your feedbacks...geezes, this is fantasy people and although one has the right their op, just like the author has to writing...give it a break and stop dissecting every lil word, etc. These authors/writers write for FREE...for your entertainment if your not entertained...DON'T read..how simple is that? However, i'd like to say..im enjoying this story and every one of the naysayers feedbacks you've address so far that i could see, email, etc...its clear the girl loves the dude, the dude loves the girl its all going to work out (hopefully) *smile*...i just want to read on and see exactly HOW this writer works that out. Please be encouraged that you are a talented writer and there are those of us that do enjoy your work...please continue this story and hang in there, you've got something, Comebacktome...i will enjoy seeing how you use that something*smile* Happy Holidays!! respectfully a fan in Texas naynay
by
Anonymous01/11/07
Don't worry about...
Although a bit "novelish" as one reader put it...the stories are still a mite better well written than you will find of some of the other submissions on this site...don't feel pressured to change your current work based on the feedback...if you were an published author, you would have no such luxury or pain...best of luck with future submissions.
Besides, those who can't do, post crappy comments anonymously. :)
English
i really am enjoying this story.
You are doing a great job. I like the way you have made me really like the heroine. I can hardly wait to see what happens next.
What a Crock!
She finally escapes from a mad man who kidnapped her and now she misses him in her bed! I can see it already, she'll miss her captor so much she'll run right back leaving her family wondering about her again.
What a slut. Again, there is nothing romantic about KIDNAPPING!!!!
We all know how it ends
Better still, he will come to America and kidnap her back to Never Never Land. She will put up a struggle but when he kiss her she willingly go back to him again and then they live happily ever after. This story is a joke. Regarding dignitaries, I almost fell out of my chair laughing so hard. All the dignatires must be in cahoots with Khadeem with no dignities. Make it sound like the that part of the world were all barbarians. We all know how romance section ends usually. But what we want is more believable make-believe story not some elementary fantasies! I read the story because I want to see the content but really-do try and think up of a better plot before you start writing.
BRAVO!!
the story is trying really great. dont listen to the last two comments it was great and i cant wait for the next submisson.
Good Work
First of all, ignore thise nasty comments. Of course a story in the romance section should have a happy ending. We all want the boy and girl together in the end. As for the person who has a problem with the kidnapping, please do see about getting a life. These are fiction stories. Outragous things are suppose to happen. If you have a problem with the story, STOP READING IT. Some of us like this story and for those who just want to be nasty I am sorry for you. If you pick apart everything you read, then I don't know why you are reading at all.
Good Work
First of all, ignore thise nasty comments. Of course a story in the romance section should have a happy ending. We all want the boy and girl together in the end. As for the person who has a problem with the kidnapping, please do see about getting a life. These are fiction stories. Outragous things are suppose to happen. If you have a problem with the story, STOP READING IT. Some of us like this story and for those who just want to be nasty I am sorry for you. If you pick apart everything you read, then I don't know why you are reading at all.
What a crock is full of it!!
Thanks for taking the time to write a really good story with a plot, feelings, and some thought ahead as to where your story is heading. It never ceases to amaze me that there are some, so-called, critics that do nothing but set around and read what they call such horrible stories. Some critics like "What a crock" is right, except they should be talking about their life that is so dull they read six chapters of such a horribly written story - Can't they find one they like without reading six chapters. I think the truth is they wouldn't like it if it was a chapter out of the Bible, the Koran, or whatever - they'd find it to slow, or unrealistic, or not enough something or other. Sorry for ranting-on about this subject myself, but I read the comments to see what suggestions other real authors might have, but I get disgusted reading comments from miserable, unhappy people who don't have a life and feel this overpowering need to read somebodies else's work just so they can be nasty and criticize it. Being nasty obviously gives them some kind of a feeling of power that they don't have in real life.
Your story is very good - Thanks for writing it and I will read your next chapter so that I can enjoy it - not criticize it.
Another Great Chapter!!!!!!!!!
Love this story!!! Please ignore the negative feedback, your story is one of the best I have had the pleasure of reading.
Please continue it soon!!!!!
This is what a crock!
I haven't read but a few sentence of each chapter after the first. Once the story turned to holding the woman against her will I stopped. I kept checking in to see if the woman would fight against her captors but that didn't happen until she escaped. I had hopes for her until the end, and that promted my comments below. I'm calling a spade a spade. KIDANPPING IS NOT ROMANCE! Can't this Khadeem person win a woman without kidnapping her and holding against her will? NO he can't! He's like all the other women haters who take a woman and then make her THINK she's fallen in love with her captor. It is called the Stockholm syndrome, look it up!
If this story was in the BDSM section I wouldn't have said a word. I don't know how many times I have to say it KIDNAPPING IS NOT ROMANTIC!!!!!!
Agree whoelheartedly with fdkman
There was no storyline to the submission too. Very predictable and it seems the authour is looking for ego booster only and cannot accept the fact that the story was cheesy and lame. If the authour only wants praises then she can forget about being a good writer. Take the good and the bad and try and do better next time.
As for those so called fans. We read because we want to tell the authour how bad she was doing. We are doing her a favour. You think these kind of story would be bestseller? Doubt it very much.
dry...
you were doing good...getting into the thick of things, but ended too quick...these submissions need to be longer. Also u need to "up" the dramam factor considering she was held against her will....she can't escape so easily, HELLO she's married to the SHEIKH!
I still am holding out for ya.
Hope to read longer, stronger submissions on this story.
You are shooting at your own foot
Had this story been set in the olden days maybe even the late 70s where email was not invented yet maybe your story would be more credible.
1)You seems to avoid the issue as this sheik no matter how you look at it had bought her against her will. So nothing romantic about it.
2)To hold someone against her will and have the nerve to say his vows in front of a 'PRIEST is a violation against god or gods. So we must presume the priest is an evil one who is doing satan's bidding to bless an unholy marriage and that leads us to think that the whole country was under satan, devil or lucifer dominance.
3)Dignitaries - Noun - plural, singular- Dignitary: In cambridge dictionary it means a person who has an important official position. I wrote - "Regarding dignitaries, I almost fell out of my chair laughing so hard. All the dignatires must be in cahoots with Khadeem with no dignities. Make it sound like the that part of the world were all barbarians". You argue - "Have you been hiding your head under a pillow? This is the real world...these things happen, this story didn't take place in America".
Hello? Wake up! You are asking me to swallow the fact that the dignitariessss WHICH are important people holding important positions from other countries WERE all barbarians??? And had no shred of dignity to save a foreign chick from a force marriage??? So you are confirming that THAT part of the world IS barbaric? Oh so America or Americans were not. How interesting indeed! And it seems in your argument you avoid answering about the dignitaries! If your story says the sheik was from a tribe I would still be able to swallow that and neighboring tribes that would still consider belieavable.
From what I see the barbaric ones here were Khadeem's families. Seems to me their families are educated but with no moral or respect for another individual but allowing their son to force someone else into marriage which is a barbaric itself. Maybe you should have put your story under Nonconset/Reluctance category that would make it a little more credible.
So negative feedback is not constructive? But when someone says "Bravo! Keep up the goodwork" was considered constructive? What so constructive about that? Did the commenter said why it was good?
4)Her family did not report her as missing after more than three weeks without even a call from her? And she was suppose to be the baby of the family? Interesting indeed. If my son who was now at age 24 and went to another country and suddenly lost contact with me for more than the duration he stayed, I would have alerted the police and checked with the airlines already. Losing someone dearly in a foreign country is something you do not take lightly. I would go through hell to find out what happen even alerting interpol and embassies. We are talking about missing person here.
As far as I am concern the childish one here is you. You did not get all the favorable comments you were expecting and throw a tantrums when your stories were being critisize.
a)Grammar wise, I would rate you 8 out of 10. (I am not good that either)
b)Sex scene , I would have rated you 8 if it was under erotic Coupling/Nonconsent/Reluctance category because it's really nothing but sex. Again I have to stress nothing romantic when taken against your wish.
c)Story and plot wise I would still give you a 2/10. Change the era and setting and your story might have been better. People wants to read good plot. Who doesn't know good romance always had good ending. That is why you call romance right?
Any comments are better than no comments. Hope you don't make these common mistakes again. Do try and think over your plot first whether it was workable or credible. Your other story seems to be ok so don't try to make the same mistake as this one.
Good luck
YOUR DOING GREAT
I love the story and it never occured to me that she would send an email. having access to a computer was never mentioned. so it shouldn't be assumed that she could send an email. i hope you contiune to write the story and soon!
Love It
I love your story and can't wait for the next chapter. Please post it soon!!
Chapter 7
Enjoying this very much. Hoping chapter 7 is coming very shortly..hint, hint!
Man oh man,
i was reading some of your feedbacks...geezes, this is fantasy people and although one has the right their op, just like the author has to writing...give it a break and stop dissecting every lil word, etc. These authors/writers write for FREE...for your entertainment if your not entertained...DON'T read..how simple is that? However, i'd like to say..im enjoying this story and every one of the naysayers feedbacks you've address so far that i could see, email, etc...its clear the girl loves the dude, the dude loves the girl its all going to work out (hopefully) *smile*...i just want to read on and see exactly HOW this writer works that out. Please be encouraged that you are a talented writer and there are those of us that do enjoy your work...please continue this story and hang in there, you've got something, Comebacktome...i will enjoy seeing how you use that something*smile* Happy Holidays!! respectfully a fan in Texas naynay
Don't worry about...
Although a bit "novelish" as one reader put it...the stories are still a mite better well written than you will find of some of the other submissions on this site...don't feel pressured to change your current work based on the feedback...if you were an published author, you would have no such luxury or pain...best of luck with future submissions.
Besides, those who can't do, post crappy comments anonymously. :)
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