I like to see it go on, maybe even let Dad at sis also?
She hot little bitch, she need all the cock she can get!
LisaSmurf
by
Anonymous02/23/08
Like Dick & Jane books wih sex!
Incredibly simplistic - reads like it was written by a 14yo.
by
Anonymous01/06/09
good but
good but the ass bashing ruined it
by
Anonymous02/12/09
why
why do all you writers think ass bashing is sexy and in this case it was nothing but rape you totally ruined a good story with the ending what a waste
by
Anonymous04/25/09
Pretty good story ... until
you had to get in the rape and anal stuff. There are sections for each of those. There are a lot of readers that don't like anal, as you can see from the responses. There were other problems, with grammar and word usage. An editor would be a help there, and would not take anything from your story [except errors]. The stories are simplistic, but you're just starting -- you'll become more expert. Just quit writing about asses!
by
Anonymous07/28/09
...
to all you buthurt little fags complaining about anal...get some fucking balls! it's anal, and besides, technically, she raped him, then he got his own back
burn for a burn, that's in the bible!
good story overall, hope that's not the end :]
by
Anonymous08/14/10
sexy
loved all three chapters keep the good work coming
by
Anonymous01/25/11
pfft...ha!
In response to the above comment about the "burn for a burn" being in the bible, who cares? The bible is a load of shit and should be filed in the fiction section.
Thes stories are just sex - not really stories. As such, they become rather boring after a bit. Well done as sex descriptions, but please give us a story.
English
HOPE
HOPE THAT WAS NOT THE END OF THE STORY AS THE STORY IS STILL INTERESTING.
it was alright
i found it great until the part where he ass fucked her when she didn't want him to that was a bit disturbing like rape
awsome.....just awsome
That was one of the best stories i have read yet!
was great
I like to see it go on, maybe even let Dad at sis also?
She hot little bitch, she need all the cock she can get!
LisaSmurf
Like Dick & Jane books wih sex!
Incredibly simplistic - reads like it was written by a 14yo.
good but
good but the ass bashing ruined it
why
why do all you writers think ass bashing is sexy and in this case it was nothing but rape you totally ruined a good story with the ending what a waste
Pretty good story ... until
you had to get in the rape and anal stuff. There are sections for each of those. There are a lot of readers that don't like anal, as you can see from the responses. There were other problems, with grammar and word usage. An editor would be a help there, and would not take anything from your story [except errors]. The stories are simplistic, but you're just starting -- you'll become more expert. Just quit writing about asses!
...
to all you buthurt little fags complaining about anal...get some fucking balls! it's anal, and besides, technically, she raped him, then he got his own back
burn for a burn, that's in the bible!
good story overall, hope that's not the end :]
sexy
loved all three chapters keep the good work coming
pfft...ha!
In response to the above comment about the "burn for a burn" being in the bible, who cares? The bible is a load of shit and should be filed in the fiction section.
Just sex
Thes stories are just sex - not really stories. As such, they become rather boring after a bit. Well done as sex descriptions, but please give us a story.
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