I really liked the idea of the story. But it really tailed off in the end. It was almost as if you were in a hurry to write it. Still, it was ok.
by
Anonymous06/30/09
More please
Actually it was better than 75, but not 100. Id like to see a ch 2 on this and expand into anal.
by
Anonymous06/06/14
Almost
There was a lot of time building up to him deflowering the virgin girl, and in less than a paragraph it's over and done with...
I kinda feel like the end was rushed just to call it done. Not even a "to be continued" to give a hope of more to come.
The premise of the story was very good
I really liked the idea of the story. But it really tailed off in the end. It was almost as if you were in a hurry to write it. Still, it was ok.
More please
Actually it was better than 75, but not 100. Id like to see a ch 2 on this and expand into anal.
Almost
There was a lot of time building up to him deflowering the virgin girl, and in less than a paragraph it's over and done with...
I kinda feel like the end was rushed just to call it done. Not even a "to be continued" to give a hope of more to come.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Waiting Out the Ice Storm or
More submissions by lengthylarry.