All Comments on 'Doctor Master Ch. 4 (2)'

this was a compleat waist of time to read ...it started out good but compleatly lost my attention when it broke from the story line u need to rethink and reread your work befor u submit anymore it just didnt make any sense

I think the story has a lot of potential. The rape scene is not too clear though. Who is the man that did it? What is he like, what does he look like, other than his fangs and that he is quick. Does he hold a grudge against either one of Shawney's Master's, that he would use their property so to anger either of them. I hope the rest of this story is in the other chapters that are not in this section, or so it seems. In and of itself, it is a good story. Oh, and while rewriting, maybe making sure it is correct in grammar and spelling.. makes reading that much easier.

I really enjoyed the theme, I feel there needs to be a conclusion and that may take further writing and thought, proof reading is needed, maybe from a friend as I don't think Coral has English as a first tongue, i accepted that as I was reading and made allowance. I enjoyed the mind and thoughts behind the story, very much enjoyable

hugs

Penny.

None of this makes any sense.

Your writing sucks!!!