All Comments on 'Pursuing Open Sight'

by FuckDoll

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  • 3 Comments
Syndra LynnSyndra Lynnalmost 19 years ago
this has

an amazing flow and feel to it. I really like the way the words feel in my mouth. Good poem!

~Syn

Trent_DutchTrent_Dutchalmost 19 years ago
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I don't mean to be rude or offensive at all... but I just feel your poem is a little formulaic... as if its been written to some script or plan... written by numbers if you will... using an overly constrictive verbal structure. Perhaps this deserves credit... it shows that you have written this poem with the sound of the words in mind above the actual meaning and effect they have (which may not sound like a compliment, but at least you have held an aspect of language in high regard through the writing). Your use of inter-line rhyme and assonance and alliteration (like street/straight, down/doubt in the first line and fast/fame, sky/hype) work well to an extent, but at parts they restrict the poem. I commend you for writing a piece with such strict limits, and making it as good as it is, but I feel your poem is a little hollow because of the restrictions (or rather I feel the way you have worked within the restrictions has left the poem hollow. Im a big believer in restrictions in poetry. Poetry without restrictions is merely oracular spoutings)... TD

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 19 years ago
Rude?

How can you be rude to an author that named herself "FuckDoll"?

Anonymous
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