All Comments on 'Two Hundred Dollars'

Thanks. Interesting characters. I would like it if you added to this but it stand quite well on its own.

It stands well by itself but there's so much story left there that would be interesting to read.

I'm always striving for originality.

And your wish will be granted. Chapter II is ready to go.

This was well written, which isn't a surprise considering your other work, but spanking was just never my thing really.

And I'm stilling working on other stories.

But this one came to me and I had to write it out. Thanks for your input.

Xavier.

This story rates the rare 5. Keep up the good work

Like the way you wrote this...the build up...the subtle "heat!"

Your story material and writing style Gardner's an A+. I particularly like the detailed unfolding of events and the slow build up of the storyline. You definitely understand how to build a solid story. One improvement would be to build upon the characters backgrounds and personalities. The fact that Laura is from Utah is interesting, adding more character background for all three of the main characters might bring the story to the next level. Super theme and storyline. Keep the chapters coming! Can't wait to see what happens next! -DAKOTA

Having started this series with the 2nd and 3rd part, this one is strictly speaking not necessary but nevertheless a very good introduction.

And it gives small hints into the soul of the characters. I wouldn't have noticed them, if I didn't already know them from part #2 and #3 :)

(non-native speaker)

You, sir, prove yet again your status as one of the top 5% of all authors on this site. Scratch that, top 1%.

asianToy

Simply yummy..

this is the embodiment of the drooling plankton meme

An excellent little story that promises to get much hotter. Bravo.

Naked is better, I once, well more than once watched a girl get spanked in slow motion filmography. Her bottom ripped out ward like dropping a stone in water.

The story should come back to this start.

Something like reading her diary.

Or picking up with the TV control scene, they could start to play another game while fighting over the TV control or something similar.

Always sticking of course to the "payment" theme. Though Laura might be a bit into the "punishment"-team :)

Nicely done. The characters, Baily and Kent, seem to be developing a bit of an attachment. That the “game” keeps going up as the story progresses leaves room for more types and rougher play. Interested to see where this one ends.

Not bad, but one problem is distracting. It's obvious that you've never spanked anyone or been spanked. None of the spankings described in this story would make it hard for either Bailey or Laura to sit down. Spankings have to be much longer and harder to have that effect. Also, when Bailey pulls down her jeans for another spanking after a jeans-up spanking, you say that her butt is red. But 10 spanks over denim would not color a butt red or even pink.

I just finished part 29, and I think this is my favorite overall story on the site. Lots of excellent writing and astute observations. The people seemed real, with actual limits. The kink is in the hesitation, the transgression, the sex/guilt/permission/orgasm within safe relationships and reality-based behavior. I especially like that they don’t go from saying hello to an over-the-top penetration scene within 250 words, but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t small but important decisions and conflicts within each of the episodes. The author makes most of those decisions seem real, that they matter to the characters. There were passages that I skimmed looking for sex and passages which seemed too deliberate (maybe those are the same spots), but those were generally passages in which the characters were mulling pertinent behaviors and reactions. The author didn’t make the rookie mistake of over explaining the immaterial, so that we get bits about work, money, etc, but readers don’t need or want endless backstory. This isn’t intended as a screenplay for a documentary on bdsm. Ie, I wouldn’t say the genre is literary realism, but it’s definitely not an erotic/romantic fable that could only exist in fantasy. I guess you could say it’s a human spanking story rather than a simple wanking story.

Fucking awesome

Love a good spanking story, but definitely disappointed that it's broken up over a series. I'm gonna have a lot of reading to do over the next year, I suppose.