This could be a very exciting story, please continue.
by
Anonymous04/23/05
To Be Continued?
To Be Continued? Only if let an adult proof read the next story.
by
Anonymous04/23/05
Spelling!
You wrote "I didn't no what to do because my huge boner in my pants"
no=know
by
Anonymous04/23/05
Pay no attention to others
This is a hot story. I think it could really happen just as you wrote it. Perfection not needed in a hot story.
by
Anonymous04/23/05
Have someone Proofread prior to posting...
Same thing I said in the email I sent to you...Really a good story...I liked it for a short story, but have another person proofread your stories for grammar and spelling errors, before posting them. It will make the difference between a 3 or 4 rating and a 5!
Uh it wasn't the worst story ever, but if there was a contest you would have come close.
by
Anonymous04/24/05
Anyone that writes deserves credit
Only havng been an avid reader, but would rather critique those sideline critics without ever reading any submitions from them.
Good job, believable, and short.
No, phobos, do NOT continue posting. See my email for detailed comments and suggestions.
by
Anonymous04/24/05
Great Idea
The idea of the story was great, and your story telling good too. But your spelling should be checked.
by
Anonymous04/24/05
Continue Please
Please continue. Mom needs to be fucked.
by
Anonymous04/25/05
I have no problem with it
I'm here for porn not literary masterpieces. So what if grammar is off here and there. It's short, it's easy to read, it's trashy. I like it, and I hope you have more to give.
by
Anonymous04/25/05
You`ve Got Your Point accross !
Dont worry about What the others have to say , You got the point accross and thats what matters ! Please Go on with the story . Cant wait for more....Signed: The Panty Lover
Don't stop now, go ahead and suck those tits that you were admiring. I think it would be nice if mom offered to suck sonny's cock anytime he would like!
by
Anonymous04/25/05
great
come on don't stop now give us part 2.
by
Anonymous04/26/05
great story
Keep going for another chapter and make a little longer story good job.
by
Anonymous04/26/05
Great First Story
A good start, please write a part two. Good use of the bikini as the set up for the seduction.
by
Anonymous07/20/05
good story, got me hard.
Pretty good hophobos, I like your story because it was short and got to the point. Even with some grammar problems it read nicely.
Well done! It could be a little longer but good story.
by
Anonymous05/23/11
not that bad for a first timer
good premise but needed some voyeurism
how about mom's girlfriend stopping by just as son is shooting a load on mom's face and the girlfriend notices cum on mom's chin
by
Anonymous03/29/12
OMG Mommy love her sons HUGE cock
Yeah! My 27year old mother sucks on my cock and she swallows every last drop of the warm creamy cum!!
by
Anonymous05/23/13
Anyone notice that the author was 18 to 22 years old when he wrote this?
So maybe still a late teenager, 18 or 19. No doubt that his young prick was rock hard as he was writing, he probably shot a good healthy load at the end. He sure liked the idea of a mother handling her boy's boy stuff, his fat cock and his heavy balls. Maybe hotphobos has gone on from dreaming about his mother's mommy-hole to sticking his big prick up in there. If so, way to go pal! Up his mother's cunt is where a boy's creamy sperm belongs.
Terrific, loved this story. Nice and fun to read. Makes me quite aroused and happy. Keep writing!
by
Anonymous03/25/14
Mmmm Bikini
Yes Mommy pose in that bikini for me. I want you to wear bikinis around the house more often.
by
Anonymous12/06/14
Loved it
Can't wait to read more and hopefully soon! Sounds like the beinging of a wonderful mother and son, sharing and growing as lovers!
by
Anonymous01/19/16
The story must continue.
After school the next day, I really couldn't wait to get home. I was hoping for more of the same naughtiness with my mom as the day before. I looked, but didn't see my mom anywhere, so I went straight to my room. When I walked in I immediately notice my mom sitting on my bed wearing only her robe. I know because it wasn't closed completely, and I could see her bush. She smiled and said, "Get your clothes off and come over here." As I stripped my clothes off in record time, my mom took her robe off and lay naked on my bed. She smiled at me again as she said, "Jack, let me show you how to eat my pussy while I'm sucking your cock."
by
Anonymous03/10/16
Grammer
Learn to spell, please learn to spell. Spell check is not your friend, learn grammar and use it wisely. The story has an interesting line and yet you ruin it by making the reader fill in words or rearrange your sentences just to read them.
I see this was posted in 2005. Glad they didn't continue it for that was just bad. Also the whole premise and the way it went was so childish. Hope the author grew up since then.
English
The 'son'
.... sounds like he is 13 and the mother 12
Yes, please continue
This could be a very exciting story, please continue.
To Be Continued?
To Be Continued? Only if let an adult proof read the next story.
Spelling!
You wrote "I didn't no what to do because my huge boner in my pants"
no=know
Pay no attention to others
This is a hot story. I think it could really happen just as you wrote it. Perfection not needed in a hot story.
Have someone Proofread prior to posting...
Same thing I said in the email I sent to you...Really a good story...I liked it for a short story, but have another person proofread your stories for grammar and spelling errors, before posting them. It will make the difference between a 3 or 4 rating and a 5!
Buy a dictionary ..........P L E A S E!!!!!!!
learn to spell and use proper grammar.
Keep Practicing!
Uh it wasn't the worst story ever, but if there was a contest you would have come close.
Anyone that writes deserves credit
Only havng been an avid reader, but would rather critique those sideline critics without ever reading any submitions from them.
Good job, believable, and short.
No More Until You Know More!
No, phobos, do NOT continue posting. See my email for detailed comments and suggestions.
Great Idea
The idea of the story was great, and your story telling good too. But your spelling should be checked.
Continue Please
Please continue. Mom needs to be fucked.
I have no problem with it
I'm here for porn not literary masterpieces. So what if grammar is off here and there. It's short, it's easy to read, it's trashy. I like it, and I hope you have more to give.
You`ve Got Your Point accross !
Dont worry about What the others have to say , You got the point accross and thats what matters ! Please Go on with the story . Cant wait for more....Signed: The Panty Lover
Those tits still need to be sucked!
Don't stop now, go ahead and suck those tits that you were admiring. I think it would be nice if mom offered to suck sonny's cock anytime he would like!
great
come on don't stop now give us part 2.
great story
Keep going for another chapter and make a little longer story good job.
Great First Story
A good start, please write a part two. Good use of the bikini as the set up for the seduction.
good story, got me hard.
Pretty good hophobos, I like your story because it was short and got to the point. Even with some grammar problems it read nicely.
fine
don't stop now finish the story
Nice!
Well done! It could be a little longer but good story.
not that bad for a first timer
good premise but needed some voyeurism
how about mom's girlfriend stopping by just as son is shooting a load on mom's face and the girlfriend notices cum on mom's chin
OMG Mommy love her sons HUGE cock
Yeah! My 27year old mother sucks on my cock and she swallows every last drop of the warm creamy cum!!
Anyone notice that the author was 18 to 22 years old when he wrote this?
So maybe still a late teenager, 18 or 19. No doubt that his young prick was rock hard as he was writing, he probably shot a good healthy load at the end. He sure liked the idea of a mother handling her boy's boy stuff, his fat cock and his heavy balls. Maybe hotphobos has gone on from dreaming about his mother's mommy-hole to sticking his big prick up in there. If so, way to go pal! Up his mother's cunt is where a boy's creamy sperm belongs.
Will be fine.. Write!
The succinct.. And on the subject..
- The mother knows what he wants and is carrying it..
Write more "hotphobos".. - In this direction and style, it will be exciting and interesting.
MomSon&SemenTastingYES
Terrific, loved this story. Nice and fun to read. Makes me quite aroused and happy. Keep writing!
Mmmm Bikini
Yes Mommy pose in that bikini for me. I want you to wear bikinis around the house more often.
Loved it
Can't wait to read more and hopefully soon! Sounds like the beinging of a wonderful mother and son, sharing and growing as lovers!
The story must continue.
After school the next day, I really couldn't wait to get home. I was hoping for more of the same naughtiness with my mom as the day before. I looked, but didn't see my mom anywhere, so I went straight to my room. When I walked in I immediately notice my mom sitting on my bed wearing only her robe. I know because it wasn't closed completely, and I could see her bush. She smiled and said, "Get your clothes off and come over here." As I stripped my clothes off in record time, my mom took her robe off and lay naked on my bed. She smiled at me again as she said, "Jack, let me show you how to eat my pussy while I'm sucking your cock."
Grammer
Learn to spell, please learn to spell. Spell check is not your friend, learn grammar and use it wisely. The story has an interesting line and yet you ruin it by making the reader fill in words or rearrange your sentences just to read them.
Thank god
I see this was posted in 2005. Glad they didn't continue it for that was just bad. Also the whole premise and the way it went was so childish. Hope the author grew up since then.
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