just like every story i loved it even though I am waiting for the story to continue.
your stories are the best
by
Anonymous04/22/05
Clean up the grammatical errors!
As a reader, I bring certain expectations to the written word. If this is a published piece, I, as a reader, would expect it do be basically error free. Unfortunately, this piece is not and distracts me, the reader, from fully enjoying the story you are trying to tell. Take more time and care with your final copy before sending it to Literotica to be PUBLISHED!
by
Anonymous04/26/05
love busty ladies
mmmmmmmmmm hot sexy love your stories wish we could meet
by
Anonymous05/08/05
Large Breasts
Very good story. Can't wait for rest of the story. Anticipation is keeping my cock hard just thinking about it.
Love the story... you write with so much elegance, very natural and to the point... one point of critique, just like a lot of erotica stories, the sex comes too sudden in my opinion... I like to see the tension building up, hesitation, then giving in... just my two cents, keep up the good work!
by
Anonymous03/05/07
Write New Stories!
Great Story (s) please write more.
by
Anonymous09/09/07
Very hot, but the text needs polishing
Loved that story...it definitely made my cock hard. But, I couldn't help noticing serveral typos in the story that made it sound disjointed at times. After a little text polishing, I would rate it a full 100 degrees!
English
fucking horny
just like every story i loved it even though I am waiting for the story to continue.
your stories are the best
Clean up the grammatical errors!
As a reader, I bring certain expectations to the written word. If this is a published piece, I, as a reader, would expect it do be basically error free. Unfortunately, this piece is not and distracts me, the reader, from fully enjoying the story you are trying to tell. Take more time and care with your final copy before sending it to Literotica to be PUBLISHED!
love busty ladies
mmmmmmmmmm hot sexy love your stories wish we could meet
Large Breasts
Very good story. Can't wait for rest of the story. Anticipation is keeping my cock hard just thinking about it.
natural
Love the story... you write with so much elegance, very natural and to the point... one point of critique, just like a lot of erotica stories, the sex comes too sudden in my opinion... I like to see the tension building up, hesitation, then giving in... just my two cents, keep up the good work!
Write New Stories!
Great Story (s) please write more.
Very hot, but the text needs polishing
Loved that story...it definitely made my cock hard. But, I couldn't help noticing serveral typos in the story that made it sound disjointed at times. After a little text polishing, I would rate it a full 100 degrees!
- F. Flowers
Like the tits.....
....hate the spelling mistakes. You really must activate your spell checker and even then proof read everything before you submit your stories.
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