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You could write an entire book on this one...
...and I would be caught breathless at the turn of every page. I'm really enjoying this story. Of course you already knew I would. lol Keep it up...don't stop now
Great Story
Keep writing! The story is so arousing, so sexy. The only criticism is refering to herself in the 3rd person, then the 1st person.
Intense....
Being I'm into a little bdsm, I truly enjoyed this chapter deeply. The scenes were acutely sharp. Your word usage it extremely good, Marie.
Marianna is a very fiery woman. Sharp as a tack and intricately woven with desires and a vast array of emotions. I love this woman. She would make me a very happy Master indeed.
Get yourself an editor!
I don´t like it that you switch all the time from the 3 person into 1 person, it is disturbing and adds no excitement whatsoever! Get yourself an editor if you are unsure who to work with the grammar.
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