by shivadancer
Or an ending? This felt like group sex - NOT LW. Badly and weirdly done.
Were you trying to impress us with your vocabulary. Try writing like you would talk not with a bunch of $10 words that don't mean anything without a story line.
I suppose this was a really hot fantasy for you, since you wrote it. I am equally sure some are going to like it a lot.
Just too much wrapper and not enough candy for the mood Im in tonight. Sorry.
Have you swallowed a dictionary by any chance? No storyline, no drama not particularly interesting.
Keep it up! Story tellers improve over time, and I see your power is growing. Keep writing (and ignore the anonymous complaints)!
DOUG out