All Comments on 'Hot Surprise'

by Threesnotacrowd

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AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago
Need some editing help

The story is very exciting and very sexy. However I found myself being drawn out of it by some basic grammar mistakes. Namely the dialogue. It was nearly impossible to tell where is started and ended. There were some other mistakes and confusion but that was the worst. Please keep writing but maybe look into having an editing partner

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