This story started out with so much promise but fell flat. A graphic discription of what the wife did in the room is what this story desparately needed.
by
Anonymous04/29/05
another wimp
get some balls and fuck your wife and be a man.
by
Anonymous04/29/05
poor dickless wimp husband
standard literotica crap for this genre. Vote "1" and quietly move on.
by
Anonymous04/29/05
Hotel Playing
If it is a first attempt not too bad, Like previous though could have done with description of what went on in the room, or is that another story (could be good). What else do people expect for this type of story get a life and do not read if you do not like this style of story.
by
Anonymous04/29/05
Cool
What would have been a cool epilogue maybe?
"Oh yeah! I almost forgot. Sue is expecting. We found out she is due about the first of August. Who would have thought? Twins. Odd though. I had a vasectomy two years ago. Who knows what will happen next New Years Eve?
by
Anonymous04/29/05
first try
Its your first so not too bad.
Your really need to work on your story line and details. A forced plot can ruin a story which is what all the stuff at the begining causing the wife to be alone did.
Its also a bit lame that this otherwise decent wife fucks the first guy she meets an hour after getting to the party.
Develope your story a bit better. Dont rush to post it.
Its better to take your time and write a good story then a bunch of short crappy ones.
out you're a wimp cum-loving pussy of a man. Isn't that great to know your new calling in life. The wife can go out and have unprotected sex with many men while you wait to lick it out of her. All those fine tasty diseases and of course, the chance for a bastard child all wrapped up in one.
by
Anonymous04/29/05
a good start
I liked your story! and best wishes with any furure attempts. Please do not be put off by the 'hurt' brigade who frequently rant at these type of stories. Fascinating isnt it that despite their condemnation they have to read them all the same? Unfortunately (as I have also found) if you are going to write on this theme you will attract such comments.
by
Anonymous04/29/05
Ahh, the poor little wimpy complainers
If the story had been exactly the same except that the hubby had the great time all the creepy little complainers would be giving the story a five
What a sorry bunch -
PS: The object of this site is for erotic good times - Not to feed the desire for a bunch of jerks to have temper tantrums about women having getting something that the complainers obviously are not capable of giving them
by
Anonymous04/29/05
which is worse?
I'm not sure which is worse, the writer of this story that is totally unbelievable or the arrogant condescending comments of the horny teenagers writing from the anonymous perspective.First, even in fantasy,on Nw Years eve, or any other time spouses do not say to the other spouse ."you go to the party by yourself and I'll stay home and look at the wall". Secondly husbands who see strangers rubbing their wife's ass at a dance are not afraid of embarassing their wife by approaching them and thirdly. except in this writers world. husband who hear their wife having sex with a stranger do not go home and jack off. They go in and kick the strangers ass and the wife's ass.Finally when the wife returns covered with cum , husbands don't say "don't worry dear , I love you wildly." They call a divorce lawyer. Maybe the writer should try a different profession and/or grow up the Ct. Yankee
by
Anonymous04/29/05
Balls to the KNOCKERS
I note that there is a small group of Anonomous USA who knock ever story they read. They are probably the wankers that can not write themselves.
I thought this story was excellent. I read for entertainment not marking an english essay, I do that every day
by
Anonymous04/30/05
well hope she dont get mad when
he brings homew a few women to fuck ...id let her know i knew she fucked 3 guys and if i caught her again id sell her sorry ass on the street...me id then fuck who i wanted when i wanted her she could divorce or not up to her but no more fucking around // then id divorce her sorry ass
by
Anonymous04/30/05
A story that veered from one area to another
The way it started, with the wife heading off for an evening of fun with friends, then the hubby discovering the friends wouldn't be there, then getting the sitter...
I was sure it was going to be an "a husband wronged." It would have been an interesting way to get into it. And it easily could have turned into a wife saved from herself (drink or what ever). Then the husband completely wimps out. The earlier part seemed to indicate he was a loving, caring spouse. But it turned out he really didn't care much for the woman. She was a total slut, displaying no interest in the husband other than not being discovered. We can only guess why she was so upset.
Those wanting more complete and lurid descriptions of her fucking were correct. This kind of story is written to titulate the teenagers and others with no interest in relationships. They should have at least been given a description of hot sex.
The ending I would have wished, the way you took this story, would have been the wife giving the husband syphilis and then discovering she was pregnant. You missed having at least one of the assholes being black.
Scribe36
by
Anonymous05/02/05
Nice one
Good to read a story with guts.
by
Anonymous05/02/05
Gee Men Don't Be Too Hard on the Cucks
They have the right to be supportive of what turns them on. They have the right to admire men who love thier wife to experience bigger cocks than thiers. They have the right to raise the bastard children and suck the bigger cocks clean and thier cum from thier wife's swollen cunt.
Thier cuck card ensures those rights - remember they were men once too.
"Their" is a word typically used to indicate group ownership by third parties. "Thier" is not a word at all, in the English language.
If you can't spell, disconnect your keyboard, monitor and CPU, put them back in the box, and take them back to the store from which you purchased them. Your comments lose whatever force they might otherwise have when I can't view you as anything other than a dolt.
He was a cuckold and loved it. Fucking wife after she had fucked three men was dangerous. What about STD and he also sucked her pussy. A good read, but the strange behavior of her husband tossed me.
He was a cuckold and loved it. Fucking wife after she had fucked three men was dangerous. What about STD and he also sucked her pussy. A good read, but the strange behavior of her husband tossed me.
by
Anonymous01/04/06
more details please ... and i love your work
The only thing that would have been better is if the guy and his buddies had had the adjoining room (by sheer coincidence of course) so that hubby would have had to hear everything if he held a glass up to the adjoining door (locked). MMMMMM
by
Anonymous02/09/06
Good hot wife story
A good "hot wife" story. Just what readers of this genre are looking for.
by
Anonymous03/13/07
Try to be a little realistic.
Please. I know it's fantasy, bt it's not totally unrealistic. On New Years Eve,when sitter doen't show up , husband says to wife, "You go to the party I'll stay home" what normal husband ever says that, even in odd California. Then he sees her participating in a gang bang and he says gee dear I really love you. Please, don't insult our intelligence.
the Ct. Yankee
by
Anonymous03/12/08
Another teen age pervert masquarading as an author
It is sad when the teen age perverts take over literotica as in this story. When the writer grows up maybe he or she will write decent stories. At least I hope so.
the Ct. Yankee
It proves the old problem about 10K monkeys with typewriters...eventually they can produce a tale which The WormCuck rates higher than 1 star. Apparently, he actually read it...(more the wonder!)
Back to the story. It isn't bad as a starter! I prefer the tits I'm sucking to not be salty or slimy...just saying! If you're acting drunk, why not go in with the two whose straws came up 'sloppy second' and 'tired third!' Sweetie might be cross-eyed enough to NOT recognize you. That way, you might get 'floating fourths' before the other guys go into extra innings!
If this was Sweetie's first train to pull, give her a break...every girl deserves at least one gang-bang, and if she didn't get hers before, in HS or college, then here it is. If this was a repeat, then she shoulda remembered that she'd end up with a cum bath and bit tits and sore pussy (and probably bunghole, as well!)
Other commenters have correctly called for more attention to detail (keep it plausible), some insight on the seduction (how did she get herself into this fuckfest?), and exactly how her first (and second...AND third) cheat were carried out (with emphasis on her moans and squeals and exclamations of surprise and delight!)
Change to the Sweetie PoV if necessary. Maybe on arrival, then approach by the strange, then the invitation upstairs as the lead horn-dog shows her how nice it is to cuckold Hubby, and finally as the rest of the team expands her horizons...and her cum-reservoir!
English
Could've been...
This story started out with so much promise but fell flat. A graphic discription of what the wife did in the room is what this story desparately needed.
another wimp
get some balls and fuck your wife and be a man.
poor dickless wimp husband
standard literotica crap for this genre. Vote "1" and quietly move on.
Hotel Playing
If it is a first attempt not too bad, Like previous though could have done with description of what went on in the room, or is that another story (could be good). What else do people expect for this type of story get a life and do not read if you do not like this style of story.
Cool
What would have been a cool epilogue maybe?
"Oh yeah! I almost forgot. Sue is expecting. We found out she is due about the first of August. Who would have thought? Twins. Odd though. I had a vasectomy two years ago. Who knows what will happen next New Years Eve?
first try
Its your first so not too bad.
Your really need to work on your story line and details. A forced plot can ruin a story which is what all the stuff at the begining causing the wife to be alone did.
Its also a bit lame that this otherwise decent wife fucks the first guy she meets an hour after getting to the party.
Develope your story a bit better. Dont rush to post it.
Its better to take your time and write a good story then a bunch of short crappy ones.
Keep writing
Jackie
It was okay.....
I cannot help but wonder how "sore" she is going to be in 9 months from now....
Married all those years and then to find
out you're a wimp cum-loving pussy of a man. Isn't that great to know your new calling in life. The wife can go out and have unprotected sex with many men while you wait to lick it out of her. All those fine tasty diseases and of course, the chance for a bastard child all wrapped up in one.
a good start
I liked your story! and best wishes with any furure attempts. Please do not be put off by the 'hurt' brigade who frequently rant at these type of stories. Fascinating isnt it that despite their condemnation they have to read them all the same? Unfortunately (as I have also found) if you are going to write on this theme you will attract such comments.
Ahh, the poor little wimpy complainers
If the story had been exactly the same except that the hubby had the great time all the creepy little complainers would be giving the story a five
What a sorry bunch -
PS: The object of this site is for erotic good times - Not to feed the desire for a bunch of jerks to have temper tantrums about women having getting something that the complainers obviously are not capable of giving them
which is worse?
I'm not sure which is worse, the writer of this story that is totally unbelievable or the arrogant condescending comments of the horny teenagers writing from the anonymous perspective.First, even in fantasy,on Nw Years eve, or any other time spouses do not say to the other spouse ."you go to the party by yourself and I'll stay home and look at the wall". Secondly husbands who see strangers rubbing their wife's ass at a dance are not afraid of embarassing their wife by approaching them and thirdly. except in this writers world. husband who hear their wife having sex with a stranger do not go home and jack off. They go in and kick the strangers ass and the wife's ass.Finally when the wife returns covered with cum , husbands don't say "don't worry dear , I love you wildly." They call a divorce lawyer. Maybe the writer should try a different profession and/or grow up the Ct. Yankee
Balls to the KNOCKERS
I note that there is a small group of Anonomous USA who knock ever story they read. They are probably the wankers that can not write themselves.
I thought this story was excellent. I read for entertainment not marking an english essay, I do that every day
well hope she dont get mad when
he brings homew a few women to fuck ...id let her know i knew she fucked 3 guys and if i caught her again id sell her sorry ass on the street...me id then fuck who i wanted when i wanted her she could divorce or not up to her but no more fucking around // then id divorce her sorry ass
A story that veered from one area to another
The way it started, with the wife heading off for an evening of fun with friends, then the hubby discovering the friends wouldn't be there, then getting the sitter...
I was sure it was going to be an "a husband wronged." It would have been an interesting way to get into it. And it easily could have turned into a wife saved from herself (drink or what ever). Then the husband completely wimps out. The earlier part seemed to indicate he was a loving, caring spouse. But it turned out he really didn't care much for the woman. She was a total slut, displaying no interest in the husband other than not being discovered. We can only guess why she was so upset.
Those wanting more complete and lurid descriptions of her fucking were correct. This kind of story is written to titulate the teenagers and others with no interest in relationships. They should have at least been given a description of hot sex.
The ending I would have wished, the way you took this story, would have been the wife giving the husband syphilis and then discovering she was pregnant. You missed having at least one of the assholes being black.
Scribe36
Nice one
Good to read a story with guts.
Gee Men Don't Be Too Hard on the Cucks
They have the right to be supportive of what turns them on. They have the right to admire men who love thier wife to experience bigger cocks than thiers. They have the right to raise the bastard children and suck the bigger cocks clean and thier cum from thier wife's swollen cunt.
Thier cuck card ensures those rights - remember they were men once too.
Happy fucking new year
What a sad little amn you are. And your wife is nothing but a whore.
Their v. Thier
"Their" is a word typically used to indicate group ownership by third parties. "Thier" is not a word at all, in the English language.
If you can't spell, disconnect your keyboard, monitor and CPU, put them back in the box, and take them back to the store from which you purchased them. Your comments lose whatever force they might otherwise have when I can't view you as anything other than a dolt.
He was a cuckold
He was a cuckold and loved it. Fucking wife after she had fucked three men was dangerous. What about STD and he also sucked her pussy. A good read, but the strange behavior of her husband tossed me.
He was a cuckold
He was a cuckold and loved it. Fucking wife after she had fucked three men was dangerous. What about STD and he also sucked her pussy. A good read, but the strange behavior of her husband tossed me.
more details please ... and i love your work
The only thing that would have been better is if the guy and his buddies had had the adjoining room (by sheer coincidence of course) so that hubby would have had to hear everything if he held a glass up to the adjoining door (locked). MMMMMM
Good hot wife story
A good "hot wife" story. Just what readers of this genre are looking for.
Try to be a little realistic.
Please. I know it's fantasy, bt it's not totally unrealistic. On New Years Eve,when sitter doen't show up , husband says to wife, "You go to the party I'll stay home" what normal husband ever says that, even in odd California. Then he sees her participating in a gang bang and he says gee dear I really love you. Please, don't insult our intelligence.
the Ct. Yankee
Another teen age pervert masquarading as an author
It is sad when the teen age perverts take over literotica as in this story. When the writer grows up maybe he or she will write decent stories. At least I hope so.
the Ct. Yankee
Need to think before writing
this one is going no where fast SORRY
It was okay
3***s.
Agree w/ DWarmNuts ??? Damn!
It proves the old problem about 10K monkeys with typewriters...eventually they can produce a tale which The WormCuck rates higher than 1 star. Apparently, he actually read it...(more the wonder!)
Back to the story. It isn't bad as a starter! I prefer the tits I'm sucking to not be salty or slimy...just saying! If you're acting drunk, why not go in with the two whose straws came up 'sloppy second' and 'tired third!' Sweetie might be cross-eyed enough to NOT recognize you. That way, you might get 'floating fourths' before the other guys go into extra innings!
If this was Sweetie's first train to pull, give her a break...every girl deserves at least one gang-bang, and if she didn't get hers before, in HS or college, then here it is. If this was a repeat, then she shoulda remembered that she'd end up with a cum bath and bit tits and sore pussy (and probably bunghole, as well!)
Other commenters have correctly called for more attention to detail (keep it plausible), some insight on the seduction (how did she get herself into this fuckfest?), and exactly how her first (and second...AND third) cheat were carried out (with emphasis on her moans and squeals and exclamations of surprise and delight!)
Change to the Sweetie PoV if necessary. Maybe on arrival, then approach by the strange, then the invitation upstairs as the lead horn-dog shows her how nice it is to cuckold Hubby, and finally as the rest of the team expands her horizons...and her cum-reservoir!
Just a gutless cuckie. He needs pint panties and a bra. Cuck garbage
Now he knows what kind of wife he has
A slut suitable for his wimp tastes.
I quit after he walked away from the guys' room.
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