All Comments on 'Death and Cheating'

by NeedYou

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  • 127 Comments
wetapapwetapapalmost 19 years ago
easy out

death is too easy a punishment. too many stories are ending in death lately. not that your not a good writer, i follow all your stories, but i hate to see stories end in death. nothing gets really dealt with or solved when it ends in death. in real life, we go on and deal with the pain and continued battles. when real life does in in death, it just seems to destroy everyone's life that is involved, no one wins. otherwise love your stories, keep up the good work.

sherlock40sherlock40almost 19 years ago
This guy should have hit Ray where it hurts

In the wallet. Divorce her, sue him for alienation of affection, claim the children for his own. Tell every single person that he and his wife know that she is a cheating bitch. Include the parents and any relatives that are close. Let the hospital know what excuse they have been using to set up their trysts so that the hospital can catch them.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 19 years ago
Absolutely the sadest but sexist story

Excellent! I felt the man's pain as he confronted his whoring wife. It was very well written and kept me interested to the end. It's a good one!!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 19 years ago
revenge!!

revenge of course! what are you waiting for? like you said it takes to tango. shirley's dead. ray is next. the only lesson shirley's death should have taught bud: "plan ahead".

ray has no respect for bud. their phone conversation showed that. ray should know who he's dealing with. i'll bet he thinks bud is the total wimp. bud should correct this impression. bud should call his seal buddies and teach ray a very hard lesson.

great story. again i ask, what is bud waiting for?

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 19 years ago
A Short Story With Impact

Nice work author - conciseness - directness - reality - and consequence - a strong package.

Thanks - you took your time - caught most of the errors - this was your best yet for all the cited reasons.

Such progress - good show - more please - with Regard

gizzmo301gizzmo301almost 19 years ago
WOW

Wow, what drama, a very well written story. Grammer is a lot better and as for as the story line " over the top". very nice, I don't always like the death part either but, Bud delt with the problem when he told her all this love and caring for her already died so wheather she lived or died no longer matteres to him. And her life and thoughts were so screwed up it didn't matter anyway

DavefoDavefoalmost 19 years ago
Cheating causes consequences......

People who cheat should know who they are dealing with. Even

the mildest mannered man or woman can be pushed too far.

As for the doctor? Give it awhile, then let them find him

dead of an overdose of some drug he was "stealing" at the

hospital.

Good story, powerful...thought provoking. Logic is one thing,

emotions another and the emotions did her in. Good!

Thanks for a good read....Dave

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 19 years ago
on and on about what she did

to much time on what she did and not getting payback.dead is a writer easy way out.good plot .

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 19 years ago
GOOD READ!!!

ENJOYED IT

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 19 years ago
enjoyed it

Thanks for a good story. Don't let the nay sayers get you down . Keep writing the real stuff.

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
Good Story

Bud's various emotions and then breakdown was real - good writing. I would have liked him to casually say to the doctor - "one down another to go".

AnonymousAnonymousover 18 years ago
A sorry wimp asshole

The useless wimp should kill himself. He is a piece of worthless shit. Maybe he can cry some more.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 18 years ago
it sad how people make themselves wimps

you the guy bud was dumb,wimpy and dickless.what the seal thing should came out earlier.seals aren't that weak or dumb.you as a writer was to clever and make bud look like a chump.it don't take seal training to push a door on a woman.

thelonewalkerthelonewalkeralmost 18 years ago
An insane writer - great pornstory

again, i have voted 50 just because of the porn qualities... nothing else... this sucks...

hey, i haven't commented on any of ur stories before.... beacause, i thought i should take time and read ur stories with carefull attention... which i believe i did... first of all, let me say that - u r not a good erotica writer, not even close, erotica is of passions and events which dwell with love and desire ... u haven't showed that sign in any genre... better to suffice, u r a very good pornstory writer, where morals are necessarily absent and lack of human sanity is essential.. ur sex scenes are good, probably great... u have surpassed many in that area... but, emotions and events that led us to those scenes eventually make a reader almost nonplussed and a bit annoyed... i should particularly talk on ur Loving Wives stories... u see, all of these stories have same patterns... big cock, sudden sluttish attitude and heartbreak of a purely gentle and innocent male... don't u think if anyone knows that he or she can't stay true or they are not just of faithful type, then they shouldn't have chosen the path of relationship or marriage? if any one, like female characters, likes just to fuck and get orgasms, then let be it.... why bother with marriage or something? if that's what they want, give them that chance... i just don't understand, why they marry? ur female characters ceratinly have the greatest sexual appetites and they would like to meet that by getting big, bigger and biggest cocks ..... and, the most upsetting fact with ur writing is - u have tried to justified that... well, if u r singly, do whatever u want, go for 15" black cocks... but, why u do that in a marriage? that's why ur characters are insane like u.... never try to justify that.. u r preaching slut behaviour.... that's not just good... however, who am i to tell these? it's just that when i see people are voting quite generously for ur stories, i get a bit hurt that how can people support things like u advocated.... in literotica, i am particularly happy to see that almost 99% readers are against cheating and they are at it very firmly which assures that themes u profess are yet far off to come to reality....

if u r a male, then, ur pattern tells us that u got this treatment urself from someone u loved and now trying to create that vile character with contempt which we feel too to those characters...

and, if u r a female, which is a big possibility, u urself betrayed someone for a bigger dick... and, u, pathetically, tried to justify some of it, the betrayal.... the orgasmic bliss and better sex turned to have priority over a marriage that the female character chose previously... it's again a shame that in ur stories, female characters are nothing but pieces of meats... always wanting to mate and breed with a better specimen of the opposite sex... and that's why, when ur female characters utter the words 'i love u' or 'love', it is pretty evidient to the readers of my like, that she loves bigger cock and more and more intercourse.. the concept of love in ur storeis is quite bizzare to me and frankly unusual... oh, if u mean, physical love, then, i understand... but, otherwise, my head hurts....

and cheated husbands were portrayed poorly... husbands with small dicks and warmth of a good person.... have u done it intentionally to hurt guys? because, no man really is a wimp... a person may have a beautiful wife, if she cheats.. that shows her character... and, who doesn't know, however great a person's physical attraction can be, if u want to be with that person, he or she has to have good and great characteristics too... beauty doesn't always feed...

however, u and another almost insance Loving Wives writer vastiesmith are quite similar.. even ur and her location in ur biographies are identical.... u both have quite evidently shown us that yes there are really beautiful (outwardly women out there who are full of sexual desire and that only.... u two have shown that women are pieces of meat only... with no heartfelt warmth, true feelings... perhaps i am wasting these... u know, from ur writngs, i have come to realize that there are people who relate to the word Love completely in the physical sort of way... and, a whorish sort of way of course...

pls, do read Mused or Bob Clark Jr. or VetigoJ or haremgirl's stories.. then, u may improve some... the first three dealt with incest... but there also lies the greatness of human mind, how much we are capable of loving the people we care for... do read....

i am earnestly hoping a reply... if u feel upto it... but, pls try to feel the fact that sex is just a part of life, not the core... with ur talent, u could produce great stories.... which i hope u would someday.... and, don't degrade woman that much... most of the woman and man for that matter don't love because of cock size or tit size.... love is something u can't explain...

if i have talked too much, pardon me.... but, ur stories do tend to make people believe that u r insane... hopelessly...

and, last but not the least, human beings are vindictive, the way ur female cheaters get away is quite unbelievable... things really don't happen like that.. measures are always taken.... i suppose it has to do with u again... u urself perhaps got away with it....

bye...

thelonewalker@literotica.com

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 18 years ago
please leave the SEALS out of it.

the guy is whipped. he doesnt need a vacation, he needs backbones.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 17 years ago
nice story?

Well to say that cheating bitches like her does deserve the punishment she got is not a far cry, but the punishment here was just a tad bit mild. She should have been left alive to see the prophecy of her husband come to life and repent every day for rest of her life to the fatal error she made.

rooster1rooster1almost 17 years ago
please

get an editor the spelling/grammar distracted from the story.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 17 years ago
Do Him! Death From Above!! HHHOOOO-AAAAHHH!

HHOOOO-AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! Brother, get busy, and GETERDONE!!! Ray WHO?? Just let the rest of us know!! You KNOW who I mean...

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
I just have one thing to say to Bub

You are a complete loser. You are the disease that infects other men with your wimpy woosey dumb ass cluless ways. Why me like you live on the same earth as I do is beyond me. Oh yeah need you...you are redundant and your spelling and grammar is horrible.

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
there is a real life problem

While this story is easy to follow, there is a big problem with the believably of the story line of a wife of 8 years with two children becoming attached to other men to the point of having affairs, and doing this for no apparent reasons. She wasn't working as a whore for doctors for pay. So, in the real world this does not (normally) happen. The way in which she spoke to her husband after she returned home from seeing Dr. Stevens is highly improbable. The only explanation would be that the wife suffered sudden cerebral atrophy. I suggest that the author gain knowledge about human behavior and biology before writing further stories of this nature. RAG

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
Living HELL...

There needs to be a follow on story in which Bud makes Dr. Stevens' life a LIVING HELL...

marriedwithballsmarriedwithballsabout 16 years ago
I realize that the story is just that, a story.

But the story comes from the mind of the writer, that's all I will say about that. I wonder if people realize just how many dumb clueless husbands there are out there in life land and how man of their wives are sluts that cheat. Most of them..I mean that. The husband is always made out to be a joke because he is one. If he did in the business world as he does in his marriage then our world would be a disaster...wait a minute it is and one big reason other that greedy greedy people in high positions is the dumb clueless husband that doesn't realize that his wife is cheating on him. Why is she cheating...because he is so dumb and cleuless. the other guy may or not possess a larger cock although a lot of writers seem to be stuck in that concept. Maybe they think that the guy is bigger and better just because they can't admit to them selves that they are dumb and clueless. The wife goes and gets another man because he's smarter than the husband. The other man recognize=s that the wife is a slut while the husband thinks of her as his wife and mother of his snotty nosed brats. he usually loves her...so much that he whines and begs her not to leave him...but...but..honey I LOVE you...hey that's supposed to be some sort os a magic word..bullshit...he's so consumed with his own self love...he still thinks he;s little buddy boy and that his parents still love him like they did when he was a cute little pound guy...bullshit...these same guys look at what I say and shake their heads and tut tut because I am off my rocker..bullshit...They are an inept bunch of whiny boys...that's pussy whipped for short...They are so fukin pussy whipped that the wife can spread her cunt all over town and make stupid suck their cum from her cunt...boy bet she is dying inside...with laughter...I am too. I love to see a dumb ass whiny pussy boy get it up his ass where he wishes it were any way...

BigFtHunterBigFtHunteralmost 16 years ago
Please another chapter

Dont stop here. One more chapter for the doctor please.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 16 years ago
Nope

Nope, It's no consistency to your story. Eighty five percent of it presents him as total wimp and then suddenly he becomes a navy seal on a killing rage.. F*ng pathetic.. Seals are better trained than that... Cheers Yoron.

AnonymousAnonymousover 15 years ago
Sucks

What is a "duce bottle?" How does she "stop her fell?" Stick to your day job!

KOLKOREKOLKOREover 15 years ago
dark and crazy, like sometimes - we are...

It's amazing how many have such hard time acknowledging that the process of a breakout of marriage - can and indeed be extremely volatile, sometimes violent or potentially even deadly. People invest, sometimes the best part of their lives in the biggest project of their private lives -their marriage (emotionally and financially to name just two important aspects of it). Then either in a gradual way (most of the time) or in a more drastic way, their world falls apart as their partnership fails them (regardless of where you pin the blame). <P>

IMO, you have painted a dark but quite convincing picture of such failing relations at the final stage before their demise. <P>

Style wise, there could be much place for improvement (like too many repetitions of the same arguments by both husband and wife). <P>

For sure, that was a one sided report, but that is not a minus for this story (or any story) which is not automatically committed to be either ‘balanced’ or ‘fair’ to both partners. All we get is a window to the mind of one partner, and through it what we mostly see is darkness and despair. Good Job.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 15 years ago
No dumbass husband you cluless wimp

you don't get the good doctor because your slut wife cheated with him you get even with the bastard for what he said to you...or didn't that sink in too well. How dare you claim to be a seal. A seal is not known for his dumbness and clulessness. A seal , no matter long, will remember what it is to be a seal and the husband ...how about this...a seal dosn't vomit all over the place when he finds that his wife has cheated. A seal would have never let it go this long. A seal wouldn't have went into a rage. A seal would know just what he is doing...

AnonymousAnonymousabout 15 years ago
How the fuck do you know what a SEAL would do

all you do is sit and jerk off that little 3 inch cock and bitch at the writers on here that try to entertain people. SEALS are people too thy would fuck you up in a heart beat but still love and feel. So just keep your sad queer comments to yourslf because you don't know a fucking thing about SEALS.

jackiedanielsjackiedanielsabout 15 years ago
Not Sure

I have Two friends who are ex navy seals,If I were married to either of them I would not want to be caught cheating on either of them,they both love there wives dearly but don,t think for a second they would put up with cheating, and as for the boy friend ,It would be a really great Idea to go far far away,They have this thing about protecting what is theres,and also there pride as men,they may have tears in there eyes but it would be while doing great bodily harm to who ever had caused there pain.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 15 years ago
Would have been better with .... No Death!

No need to kill her at the end of the story. The husband's prediction of the future would have been much more fun to read about.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 15 years ago
No why should I get revenge on Ray Stevens

How about the lack of respect that he showed you. How about his trying to get you put in prison. NO you are just a product of Need U 's mind and he is a dumb ass. He wouldn't get angry if I raped his little daughter, sold his grandmother to a whorehouse. He is too much of a wussy wimp and he should hang himself. Thats the only he will ever be hung...what with his little one inch pee pee.No I'm not the wimp husband type You are the wimp period. Go fuck off creep needyou

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 15 years ago
Needs to kill Ray too....

but at least he got "closure" with slut wife.Making him a seal was a joke, although the two ex-"SEALs" I've known weren't particularly tough.(At least mentally)Most of the training shit they do we did in 8th grade through Outward Bound.I knew what drownproofing was (yes-hogtied too) before the U.S. military ever adopted it.So writers maybe if you want to fantasize about what a real man is go for force recon.Them I fear!Pistolpackinpete

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 15 years ago
Depressing story but erotic???/

Well written but depressing story. Also nothing erotic about husband and wife screaming at each other and husband killing wife.

The Ct. Yankee

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
Author is pretty pathetic man

It's very tired to create a character like the husband who is so meek and defensive in the marriage, then full of vigor in getting retribution against wife. The death was a cheap way out to end the story, and he would go after the dear doctor who caused him pain. The wife character was built to maximize negative responses because she had no humanity, only lack of self esteem and self confidence. This all must be a public exposition of the author's self doubts. And pretty well expressed through the story. Bunch of tripe. And English must be a second language, given the nearly illiterate examples scattered throughout the story. Get an editor.

AnonymousAnonymousover 14 years ago
I am sorry but the husband was pathetic

However the slut wife was mentally ill. The good doctor needs to have an accident one night and lose his balls. It would be easy enough to get him by himself and wear clothing your cant be IDed in to take care of him. Actually eliminating the wife from the gene pool was a very good move and helped humanity. Yep, hubby is a wimp, but at least he is a wimp with some character and ethics.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 14 years ago
oh?

oh? i loved the ending.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 14 years ago
One of the stupidest LW stories ever written.

How can the author enjoy writing about such a dull, stupid, insensitive, jerk unless he's trying to expunge something similar from his insides? He writes that the hubby worships and adores his wife. This hubby doesn't have the mental capacity to worship or adore anything. The continued dumbness of hubby was an increasing irritant up the the lazy ending of hubby all of a sudden performing an action. I doubt that a guy this dumb would ever have been a Seal. How can the author be as illiterate as the man, either? However, editing probably could not save this piece of dribble.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 14 years ago
Learn to...

spell. Learn grammar. Learn how to construct a sentence. Then read good fiction for about 10 years. Then, try to develop a mature imagination. In the mean time do not, repeat not, give up your day job.

norcal62norcal62over 13 years ago
Get and English-speaking editor.

The poor grammar spoils the story. Having the male be a doofus is just plain insulting to the reader. It spoils the story because everything is simplified too much to be enjoyable.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
Liked the story a lot.

However, spelling is not good, and hubby was humiliated without proper retribution to Dr. Asshole, much to my dismay.

DunaDunaalmost 13 years ago

Unfortunatelly I do not like the violance cheating wife husband revenge stories. The good stories deal with the divorce proceeding,a newer mate for the exhusband (in a super story is a heppier new marriage) and the DNA test results, which it is evidance he is the biological father of his children.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 13 years ago
I LIKED THIS STORY!

Some people just ask for what they get, and she definately asked big time. So let the bleading hearts say what they want, it won't stop the eneviable from happening.

huedogghuedoggover 12 years ago
liked it to a degree/point

his revenge was ok because the bitch died but the begging sucked.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
You really need to stop trying to write until

you learn something that most grammar school kids know about the English language.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
Navy SEAL's

I know you are not the only one, but please cut back back on using Navy SEAL's as wimps. I was on a Admiral Staff once during my time in the Navy and have met a few real SEAL's. The one's I met are not wimps, they would of beat the shit out of their wife if they talked like Shirley. I'm not saying they all are wife beaters but you don't get to be a SEAL by being a wimp. Shirley was extremely vicious and cruel and no man would being crying and begging for that bitch to stay. As for Dr Ray, he would be in a world of hurt soon. Like i said before SEAL's are not wimps. I've seen a SEAL take down a man for hitting on his wife or girl let alone them to screw her. For all writers out there don't put down the military's finest to make your story. I wasn't a SEAL and I got training in fire arms and first aid, use a normal soldier if you want to wimp him out. There are all types in the Services but to be one of the best there is a hard weeding out to get the best. A man like Mitch Buchannon on the show Bay Watch would never been a SEAL. He proclaimed himself as pacifist that would not kill, being a SEAL means your are the last option. That means all the talking is over and the enemy must be taken down (killed). They don't win the hearts and minds, they don't negotiate, they go in and take care of the problem and then leave period!

user110user110almost 12 years ago
i agree with the tropp below me

navy seals aren't pussies. nor are they prone to indecision. make your cucks authors of internet erotica.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 12 years ago

I agree with the overuse of navy Seals in these stories. If the Navy had as many men ten the Seals as litrotica authors suppose, there would be nobody to drive the boats.

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
Really ???

Many humans are total assholes. We have a whoring wife that has more brains in her little toe than the asshole she is married to. He had all he needed to follow-up, get a PI plus a lawyer and shaft the bitch... but NO WAY... he's a total asshole (they live amongst us and they reproduce... UGH!).

The sentence that killed the story completely:

"So there's no chance we can work this out. I love you Shirley and I have since the day I saw you the first time. I'd be willing to work hard to make things right with us if you will."

betrayedbylovebetrayedbylovealmost 11 years ago
No Revenge or Retribution

She died too soon. Ne was a little wimpy begging her to stay and work things out but she was a cheating skank whore wife. She should have lived and broke her neck. That would have been fun.

HA

monkcalmmonkcalmover 10 years ago
A SMALL TRUTH

a good persons death is mourned and yet their memory lives on with love, a selfish persons memory is erased, all the friends they had forget them quick for all the truth about them comes out in their memory,good endures in love.evil is erased and degrades,think about people you've lost good vs evil one is always there and the other is thrown away or just ignored..we all do it..and cheaters are never good parents..they are evil.

dmhackdmhackover 10 years ago
How is it...

...that so many cheated husbands turn out to be former SEALs in these stories? Just wondering.

Seriously, you need an editor, bud. You know, someone to catch your spelling mistakes and tell you that the green things they wear in hospitals are called scrubs... simple stuff.

Then you need to develop characters that have more than one dimension. Could the woman have been more of a cut-out? And the husband?...yikes! I think if he had photos of her screwing other men you'd still have him pondering if she was actually cheating on him. "Hmm, I have hotel receipts, cum stained clothes and now these photos. Could she be cheating on me?"

AnonymousAnonymousabout 10 years ago
Not a bad story

Could have used some editing for some of the annoying grammar mistakes, but over all, not a bad read. Next time, forget the Navy Seal crap. That added nothing to the story and just seemed silly.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 10 years ago
Dr ray deserved some kind of revenge

That sob need a major beating so he would never practice again. He wife was a slut. To bad for him at least he can start over again and has his children.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 10 years ago

Although I liked the story, my vote is only a 2/5 because the technical quality of your writing feels like it was from a fifth grader. If you can't find and fix those dozens and dozens of errors by yourself, then PLEASE look for a beta reader. With every word you're publishing unedited you insult your readers.

BuzzCzarBuzzCzaralmost 10 years ago

I'll pile on too. The story has numerous spelling and grammatical errors. The Navy Seal add-on was silly. We knew more about her clothes than we did about either primary character.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 10 years ago
Well, I was not a Seal but I was in the Navy.

And I know that I am more man than this wimp bastard. He only killed his slut wife by accident, I think, and he put up with too much, too long, to have been classified a man. I doubt if many Seals would do that. And to let Dr. Ray off, hell no. Since I am complaining, the author writes as though he barely got through the 5th or 6th grade. I usually just let that stuff slide. I know that it is just a story BUT...

AnonymousAnonymousover 9 years ago
If you love someone set them free....

if they return they are truly yours....if not...HUNT THEM DOWN and KILL IT!

tazz317tazz317over 9 years ago
RAY RAY MADE SEVERAL MISTAKES

he is only going to make one more after Disney TK U MLJ LV NV

carvohicarvohiover 9 years ago
Oh I'm late to the party, but...

I wouldn't have killed her because I would have already packed up and left. Several have commented on the SEAL thing. I was in the army. You don't have to be a SEAL to know what to do. Moreover, I doubt if a SEAL would have lost control; he would have left without one backward glance. About the doctor; I would not have gone after him. I would have wanted my ex-wife to marry the SOB. I'd be free from alimony, and I bet I'd see them break up after a year or so. I imagine I'd get the kids after a short while. My guess is she wouldn't want to be bothered. If I got my kids I could go on without her. Maybe I'd try for alienation of affection, or find out if the hospital where they worked had any morals standards. That could be fun. That would have been something. I remember what my daddy said, "Stand them on their heads and they're all sisters." I'd be sad for a while, but I'd move on. The notion there's only woman in all the world is pure shit.

I gave the story a five, but there were quite a few mechanical problems. It was a free read; what the heck. Thanks, it was fun.

Drbeamer3333Drbeamer3333over 9 years ago
Meh

thanks for the effort.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 9 years ago
5*

btb

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 9 years ago
1*

badly written pile of shit.

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
What a dumb ass.

The only revenge he needs on Dr. Ray is to sue him and sue the hospital for interfering with his marriage. The stupid Dr. already admitted as much in open Court. You should get millions from the Dr and the hospital. And the Dr gets fired. What more do you need? Bad ending.

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
dead

I gave it a 4 only because shes dead. I hoped he would do somethi g. Just give him time. Story not badly written. But way over the top in hate. Again shes dead.

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago

Loved it. The lust, the hate. I truly felt the emotion. Wonderfully written 5/5

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
English as a second language or failed English in school

I have never seen so many errors in grammar, spelling and punctuation in a published story.

Tootight1Tootight1over 8 years ago
enjoyed the story

the emotion was there, and the feeling I got was that hubby was really dense, in his thinking. the sorry part of the whole thing was that the wife never got the punishment she deserved, and good old ray skated away free, to ruin someone else's marriage.that just isn't right in my book.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 8 years ago
1*

he has to be the lamest SEAL ever.

bad story. bad ending. author can't write in english. try another.

GoodhueGoodhuealmost 8 years ago
Got What She Deserved!

Sad story of a twat who valued sex above children,family,and loving husband. To HELL with her! KARMA can be a bitch!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
Wow, yet another Navy SEAL.

If as many guys were in the SEAL's as authors make out in these stories, the navy wouldn't have anybody left to drive a boat.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
Yet Another SEAL in Literotica

The US military has only about 3% of its personnel in "Special Forces" (SEAL, Delta Force, Army Ranger or Army Special Forces, Black Ops) and increased the total number from 42.8 thousand in 2001 to 62.8 thousand in Fiscal Year 2014. 91% are military, another 9 thousand are civilian (source: GAO Report: Special Operations Forces, July 2015, available at: http://www.gao.gov/assets/680/671462.pdf)

But to read Literotica, every single one of them is now out of the service and has a cheating wife or girlfriend, or is a friend of a guy with a cheating wife or girlfriend!

This "Deus ex Machina" plot device has been around for about 2500 years, originating in Greek tragedy plays and has been roundly criticized ever since it first appeared. Please stop this foolishness, authors!

In this story especially, the Special Forces past of the protagonist adds nothing to the story flow, and as others have commented, makes him to appear more of a wimp; i.e., if he was such a Macho Man, why did he take it from the wife's lover, and put up with the wife's actions? The story would have been better if this concept of the protagonist being such a trained professional had not appeared.

Without the SF issue, 4 stars. (Minus 1 star for no resolution with the wife's lover, whether financial, physical, professional, etc. Have the protagonist do something to the doc! Sue him, expose him to the State Medical Board and try to get his license to practice pulled, make such a public furor over his cheating at his place of employment that the hospital fires him, go Postal on him, or something!)

The Special Forces matter cost another star.

The story was overall well written, flowed nicely, with good grammar, spelling and punctuation and kept the reader's interest.

Please keep on writing. (Perhaps a follow up on the doctor's just deserts.)

Danger09Danger09almost 8 years ago
The MOST pussiest navy seal ----EVER

He was a bitch... Wtf was he crying for??? She absolutely hated him... He sitting up there crying like a little bitch over a cum slut...I thought men in militaries had balls and strategize... Was his strategy to cry? It had potential but I didn't believe for a minute he was in the seals..it was just too weak

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 8 years ago
The MOST pussiest navy seal ----EVER Spoken like the 4f fucker

who wrote this. Good story 5 for effort and content

tazz317tazz317almost 8 years ago
RAY RAY BETTER REMEMBER HIS HIPP-CRATIC OATH

cause now he has to look over his shoulder to kept that oath out of his ass, TK U MLJ LV NV

GoodhueGoodhuealmost 8 years ago
CRAP!

~ Nobody can be as blind or stupid as that dim-wit husband! No fuckin' way anybody that stupid could have been a Navy Seal!

~ As far as the piece of shit whore of a wife is concerned,I only wish she would have died a much slower and more painful death! Her life was all about her cunt! The hell with her husband.To hell with her children. All she cared about was her big-dicked dick of a doctor.

~ Best ending would be for Dr. Big Dick and the stupid former SEAL to have a head-on car accident in which both bought the farm! (The children could be adopted by one of the sets of grand parents. Lord knows,they'll be much better off then if their shit parents had survived!

I know,it's only a story,fiction, so I shouldn't get so worked up!

Fine.Don't submit garbage like this to insult the intelligence of anyone with an IQ over 40!!!

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
Keep Your Day Job

This story reads like it was written by a fourth grader.

ScorpioJJScorpioJJover 7 years ago
Doc must be punished

Of course he needs to feel the pain. He destroyed this family by targeting a married wife and mother. It should not be done fast like the wife. It should be slow and determined.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
part 2

part 2 about revenge n the asshole she cheated with :)

cabbage01132cabbage01132almost 7 years ago
great brutal betrayal

i was with you all the way until you mentioned "navy seal".

a great devastating betrayal but a weak ending. enjoyed it though and 5* for a great confrontation.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 7 years ago
Is English your native language?

You need to learn the difference among to, too and two. You need to learn the past tense of the verb to see. It is not conjugated I seen, You seen; He, She, It seen. You should get an editor to help you with your grammar. I got half way through the first page; then I had to quit reading because it was a chore trying to overlook your massacre of the English language.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 7 years ago
Seriously

He didn't know if he had enough proof yet when he had the stained underwear in addition to all of the other things? That's just ridiculous.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 7 years ago
Ex Navy SEAL?

No one is that stupid especially a SEAL

You insult the all of the armed services not just the Navy.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 7 years ago
1*

wimpiest SEAL ever.

ScorpioJJScorpioJJover 6 years ago
Ray has to be punished

If not for his wife then for the next wife or ten wives. He is a predator and gets joy from breaking up families. Think of the other children while burying him alive in the mountains. Make sure he suffers with plenty of time to know it is his own damn fault.

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
1*

pathetic cuck shit.

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago
Why

You must really hate men to make such stupid path idiotic sniveling whimp.

AnonymousAnonymousover 6 years ago

Just utterly stupid.....

sas6446sas6446about 6 years ago
UGH!!!!!

REALLY????!!!!!! First he's a wimp and suddenly he's an ex seal???? Get real!!!!

He's a pussy! In reality he fucks up the "good doctor" so bad he spends the rest of his life in a wheel chair and can NEVER use his cock again!

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 6 years ago
really

Huge mistake on character building. No way a seal is that unaware of what is going on. And no way an alpha male which is a requirement almost to be a seal. Comes from the pathetic excuse for a man you built in the lead character.

Very poor work and not believable. Proof reading is a lost art in the now generation.

MightyHornyMightyHornyalmost 6 years ago
"No I'm not the wimp husband type..."

Euh... YES YOU ARE.

This sadass couldn't have been a bigger wimp if his whole life depended on it.

Clueless to see what was so obviously happening right in front of him, 'cause HE LOVES HIS WIFE SOOOOOOO MUCH; unable to recognize cum when he see it, EXACTLY where he should expected to find it, 'cause NO WAY WOULD MY WIFE CHEAT ON ME!!!; unable to control his emotion over her sordid confession, even though nothing she told him wasn't expected, but IT HURT SOOOOO MUCH, WOUAIIIIN!!!! And, even though she's literally spitting at his face, laughing at him for being so much of a loser, he couldn't figure out how much she loathe him... STILL WAITING TO TRY TO SAVE THE MARRIAGE!!!

Really, I've seen characters with way more balls in Matt Moreau stories. That's saying something!

Seriously, the author did Bud a solid by essentially 'Final Destination'ing Shirley's skanky ass out of his and, way more importantly, their children's life. Sorry, but this man was a cuckold thorough, a poor excuse of a man so completely hung up on a woman who seemed to have despised him for most their marriage, he had no idea of the depth of her unfaithfulness. Seriously, in a marriage, it kinda worthless to be extremely happy, as Bud seemed to be, if you don't have a clue how unhappy your partner is. Shirley said she has been cheating on her husband with some big cocks since barely after giving birth to her first child (pretty much shutting down, by the way, her other claim that he wasn't the father of their kids, but we'll talk about NeedYou's lazy writing later...), and kept repeating ad nauseum how much Stevens was superior to him in every way... You know what an actual man do after hearing such things? Grab the slut and immediately throw her naked ass out of the door. At a minimum.

What did Bud said instead?

"So there's no chance we can work this out. I love you Shirley and I have since the day I saw you the first time. I'd be willing to work hard to make things right with us if you will."

Wimp.

No - actually: ultra wimp.

Gotta said, though, the author did himself absolutely no favor by making such a pathetic main character a Navy Seal - right there, just by doing this, just by introducing such an unrealistic factor about who Bud is, his story lost a star, in my book. There's a lot of things NeedYou add to his sad little tale that ultimately doesn't jell well as a whole: the aforementioned questioning of Bud's paternity, when Shirley admitted to not have cheat on him before having their first kid; the constant need for him to continuously get more proofs of her infidelity, when what he already got was more than enough; the introductions of threads that went nowhere (Bud's friends Larry) or that were never explained (the key in her car / 'Rt.22 and US 1'); and this fuckingly dumb open-ending, where Bud wonder if he should get his pound of flesh out of Stevens, when he clearly SHOULD... But, then again, wouldn't it be how a wimp would actually act like?

Basically, I should like this story more... problem is, I have very little sympathy for his main character. Don't get me wrong - ain't crying no tear over Shirl's death, may she rot in hell for eternity, but when you walk away, thinking that a guy not being able to feel anymore, given the scope of the betrayal he suffered, when you end up thinking this is the BEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO HIM, 'cause it would finally force this sissy to drop his ball, his kids notwithstanding...

Kinda hard feeling any good thing from such a story.

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago
Are you over the age of 10?

I don't think this writer is! The spelling and the grammar are absolutely atrocious! The story is pathetic and are there 2 kids or 1 or any? I don't like to be this negative but....there was nothing to be positive about in this story.

danoctoberdanoctoberover 5 years ago
There are a few types of women characters...

...in the Loving Wives stories. This woman was just a cruel, mean spirited, horrible individual who dug her own grave with her words. The issue I had with this story was the ending. Her lover needed to share some the pain. An entire follow up story (1 page would be enough)could focus on the husband's revenge on her lover.

RodimusMikeRodimusMikeover 4 years ago
Was Justice Served?

Shirley albeit was downright cruel to her husband Bud when he confronted her,but in all honesty did Shirley deserve to die because of it,no. I'll explain Dr. Ray was your typical Studly Doctor that had a huge ego,that he used to get Shirley to sleep with him,thereby getting the excitement of knowing he stole another mans wife which is like ambrosia to a single horny stud like Ray.

And Shirley got the thrill out of turning her husband Bud into a cuckold,but that's the problem,for Shirley she was basically seduced by Dr. Ray and was blinded by the fact that Dr. Ray was just using Shirley,but reputation doesn't lie when it comes to assholes like Dr. Ray,sure he may have stayed with Shirley for a little while until the newness wore off but then he'd get tired of Shirley and move on to someone else cause she would be like yesterdays trash,forgotten.

So Shirley didn't realize Dr. Ray totally brainwashed her and Shirley had no clue what she was saying when she called Bud a needle dicked wimp,because Dr. Ray had her convenced he loved Shirley but in truth it was all just an act to get Shirley to give her pussy to him whenever he wanted.

Now it was sad Shirley had to die,but hopefully in death she looked back and realized what Dr. Ray did to her and she regrets what she said to her husband Bud,and maybe in her next life she can make amends for what happened in this past life.I don't think people are inheirently evil but I think along the lines some people just snap and can't control it like Bud as I don't think he really wanted to kill his wife I just think he got so angry that he had no clue what he was doing pure and simple.

Lastly even if all is said and done,no matter how screwed up Shirley and Buds lives were atleast they created two decent kids together,that has to count for something.

AnonymousAnonymousover 4 years ago
Of course you go after Dr Stevens!

You just wait 6 months to a year and the good doctor gets mugged and killed. Just make sure to gave a good alibi.

AnonymousAnonymousover 4 years ago
Worst Ever

What a friggin stupid ending to an otherwise okay story. -1*

tralan69ertralan69erover 4 years ago
To All

of the commenters that put down the authors and their stories just because you don't like the type of story it is, go write your own stories the way you like them. Or would that be too hard for you. It doesn't seem that it is too hard, the way you go on and on about how the story should be. (in your mind not the authors)

I believe that a story is just that, a story. Something that can have anything that the story teller can imagine. And still be ok.

And I am guessing that none of you have ever made a mistake.

Still a good story to me. 5 *****

AnonymousAnonymousover 4 years ago
to tralan69er

suck a dick you cuck

lee5456lee5456almost 4 years ago
Scorched-earth bitch

The stupid cunt got what she deserved

AnonymousAnonymousover 3 years ago
You should never put up with any woman treating you like she did.

When a woman starts the disrespect of her husband it's time to move on know matter how much you have loved her sometime you have to be a hard man to deal with women's attitudes

AnonymousAnonymousabout 3 years ago

He should have put his hands around her whoring neck and squeezed. That doctor would get his, not knowing the day or the time

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