Fun with Sister in the Car Ch. 02

Better

Well, at least we didn't have "violet jerks" in this episode, but you still need to read your work more carefully before asking us to read it.

Logic check please

EIther "Teresa was wearing a black, one-piece swimsuit, covered with pink and green stripes." OR "The bottom of her wet bikini was stuck between her ass cheeks, showing the configuration of her cute, firm ass." It can't be both.

You need to proof read it and then send it to an editor to proof for you. The concept of the story, while not totally unique, was better than some. However, it was the execution that gets it a low rating.

I liked it

Apart from a few errors it was a fun story. Please continue with the series for those of us that enjoyed it.

AH! What a tease!

Ok, I loved both of them but the second was just a tease! I wanna know what happens! And forget all the "logic" talk, everyone has typos, you learn to read over them, keep going, your a good writer, just don't freaking tease me man.

Changing Names?

Wasn't "Jack" the name of the father and "Jaime" the narrator - as evidence in this excerpt from chapter 1; "'Jaime, give your sister some privacy.' Mom scolded me." -- And this from chapter 2; "'Jack, are you still there?' my sister shouted from the other side of the window. 'Stick to the plan Jack, stick to the plan', I needed to remind myself."

Other than that, a good story.

Great keep'em comin

It was great please write more and please continue with the bastard prince

Not so good

All the subtlety of a noisy dump truck. Everything that made part 1 sexy is gone here. Return to the approach of part 1. Oh yea, and get the facts consistent.

AAGh

I'm willing to ignore the minor errors of consistancy, but not the cliffhanger ending. Where the next part?

good job

Oh yes that little comedy story and cute erotic story and keep up ch. 03

Great follow-up

Hope you will keep the thread going.

Is she teasing him or will she CUM through?

Will her friend join in on the fun?

Only the author knows.

its good

its good

lovin it

Stop teasing us and write the third, lol. Lots of detail.

GRAMMAR

The story was good, but it is agonizing to try to read a story and become aroused when it doesn't make sense because of so many grammatical errors!

Too fun

Good but waiting for third. The phantom

awesome

i think the writer wanted to make this a tease one to leave us wondering whats goin to happen in the next one i am happy he done it like this that way u know for sure there is goin to be a next one no matter what and if hes in the middle of writing it he can change the story a bit cuz we dont know if she was teasing her bro or not he could do either or i think the writer was smart for doin this

So hot

Loved it way more that the first even... keep it go'n.

really good

you shoudl keep on going, its the best story ever XD

I LOVED IT

i luved the story u should write another chapter

Whoa!

Teresa went from comming down stairs in a bikini, to being in a one-piece swim suit in the pool, to wearing a bikini again? How the hell did THAT happen? Anyway, hope she keeps her promise to him in chapter 3.

God damn it

He's frustrated about his boner.
I'm frustrated about not knowing when the 3rd chapter's cooming!!! please be soon, awesome story!

damn hot

really hot. makes me want to give my cherry to my little brother

how could you not go on....

MOre!

good story

keep the stories coming, it was just as exciting and sexy as the 1st. Don't stop now man it's been awhile and there still isn't a third chapter, don't take everyone's critisim so seriously your a good author.

wonderful story please do more

you are a great writer please do more these two stories hav been the most exciting stories i have read on this site

how could u not go on

Loved it write more soon plzs.

Keep it Cummin

Whens the next one comin?

OMG CH 3 PLZZZZZ

Love this story, def needs a ch. 03 xD. Also great work by the way.

3rd story plzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

This is hot

Please do part 3 !!

Please do a part three!!

part 3!!!!!

i want part three

how old are you in this story? and make a part 3 soon plz

we all agree

part three, part three please!!!

your fucked for stopping there! ahh! you left US naked horney and breathless as well... please write moorre

jesus !!!!!

come on part three for fucks sake mate?

please

Write more

please moooooore!!!

MORE

PLEASE MORE GRATE STORY! :)

Waaaoww!very exciting but u are a bastard by just leaving us like that,with our cocks in our hand!!to remedy to this WRITE A 3 RD CHAPTER RIGHT NOW !and tell us ur fucking with Theresa in details!!Come on man!

Superb

More, more, more please!!!
Gosh I am so hard it hurts! lol.

Record ?

I don't know for sure but I reckon this is the greatest number of 'ANONYMOUSES' I have ever seen loaded on one poor striving author.
Incidentally I found the story differently interesting, or should that be definitely - -.

auntpeeing

I shall never forget when I was 15, the family including my mother's elder sister Karen(AGED 38 AT THAT TIME),were travelling for a long distance in the car driven by my dad,I had an exceptional exciting experience.After 1 hr travelling,my aunt Karen asked my Dad to stop because she was nearly peeing in her panties.Dad stopped near an isolated place where there were a lot of bush.My Mum asked me to accompany her and remain not far in case there would be a peeping tom nearby.Karen was so much in a hurry that she did not take care of my presence and just when we were out of sight of the car,she pulled down her jean and sat down on her feet.I had never seen a pussy before and when I saw her putting on the white satin panties she was wearing on one side of her pussy,i was like hypnotised and I saw the flow of pee coming out of her very hairy pussy.I had an immediate hard on and my aunt saw me looking at her but said nothing,with just a beautiful smile on her lipsShe peed with relief during one minute.Then she took her handkerchief and asked me to clean her because she was in a bad position to which I obeyed immediately.I took an opportunity to put one of my fingers in her hairy pussy .she closed her eyes but suddenly but gently asked me to stop my fingering.Maybe she was afraid of what would happen if I had continued.We came back to the car,with my mind plentyl of that big beautiful hairy pussy.Finally,I did not enjoy my day,because I could not stop thinking about what happened.When we came home,I had to jack my cock and cum 3 times!!I have never been able to see her pussy again.She has never talked about But later on.I had the chance to sniff and lick her pussy's moisture,when I stayed at her place for holidays.This experience has marked me because even when I got married,I could still feel her moisture and since then,up to now,I give special masturbation sessions thinking about her ONLY!!

Chapter 3 !!!

Hey so what happen next ?!?!? since 2005 really put CH 3 up please and thank you in advance.

need part 3 pleaseeeeee

Soooo good

Make more!!!!

Ch3

Chanting loudly : ch 3 ch 3 ch 3 ch 3 really good needs more chapters

More

more oi it