by jeninflorida
... but I think it would help if you used an editor. It certainly made me a better writer. It's a greaqt premise, you just need to tighten up your writing a little. Keep writing!
Kind of dumb. Plus I'm turned off by perfect people. I perfer stories where I can picture myself in the middle and I am not perfect
A Very Nice job of arousing storytelling. Your talent is obvious. Thank you for a very nice read.
very arousing story Jenn, certainly brightened a mundane work lunch break!!
x
Mirren
Well, I certainly would love to partake in that scenario... Very well written and got my blood boiling!
Very nice. I'll be waiting for the next chapter. I hope that one puts you in the middle.
but as others have pointed out, you could really benefit from the help of an editor.
and i'm fucking hard now too....superb story...hope there is to be more
Rod xox
this really deserves to be continued. Hot, detailed, sexy.Well written.
Trying to get turned on but the grammar mistakes were a little bumpy :) At other times the story was too direct, and at others confusing.
But I love the scenario ;)