All Comments on 'Tinkerbell Loses a Bet!'

by Xpoerotica

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  • 8 Comments
KlitomaticKlitomaticover 5 years ago
Not bad

For a rookie, keep tapping that key board you talk about...

Privates1stClassPrivates1stClassover 5 years ago
State Street was where all the action was...

or not! Seems like the Union was the place to be on Halloween.

Good luck in the contest.

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago
Excellent first draft

Loved the story. The descriptive language is a bit basic, and comma usage needs work. Keep working at it; you have star potential!

XpoeroticaXpoeroticaover 5 years agoAuthor
Thanks!

Thanks for the feedback everyone!

TarnishedPennyTarnishedPennyover 5 years ago

Hilarious and erotic!

AnonymousAnonymousover 5 years ago
Great story

I worked at the Union many years ago and would have loved to see action like this! Keep writing !

JJMemaw0623JJMemaw0623over 5 years ago
I want more!!

I want to hear more about her and the werewolf!!

bottovarnisbottovarnisabout 2 years ago

pretty good. I always enjoy wardrobe malfunctions! Enjoyed the narrative style. The climax seemed a little forced though. Generally great story. thank you.

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I'm 53, college educated and married. I taught middle school, until cancer took that away. The cancer impacted my immune system, so now I am a keyboard jockey.