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English
excellent
excellent poem
from: your "templeminded" (big grin)
love,
nin-
#
This poem reminds me of a Parsi fire Temple I visited once.They are always devoid of furniture or decoration except for a single flame which seems to serve much the same purpose as your poem.
*
Art, if you set up a pattern, there must be a reason for breaking it, you can be forgiven for breaking the rhyme at the end, after all the end should be the focus, the reason, attention should be focused there. If I was forgiving, I could rationalize that the rhyme begins to disintegrate on every even stanza, but it is not obvious that you intended it.
i.e
2nd rooms - broom (close)
4th mind - signs (same vowel, n sound)
6th another - temple (no rhyme)
Best line -
for rust may preceed us
good
ahhh...people don't always catch our sly little author's tricks do they Arty...I got it Buddy!
great job!!
;)
kisses,
T
temples in the mind
I have heard the phrase before
but never so detailed, thanks MET!
Mentioned in the
Sunday reviews
du lac~
**5**
WOW!! an other good one that is ZEN & easy to read & know!! Dont litsen to the mean guy cause hes not ZEN at all & his poem are to hard to like much at all!
THANKYOU ZMA!!!
Fantastic
as always Art.
Love your ZMP poetry,
great stuff,
Thanks.
~ J
like this concept
you have woven together here. the title is my queen here......nicely done.....don
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