All Comments on 'My First Time'

it was a good story, not much of a build-up though maybe the next one you could build it up a little more.

Honey,

I enjoyed reading of your first lesbian seduction. It's just that you need some real help with spelling, punctuation, and grammar. There are a number of people here on Literotica who volunteer to edit stories for aspiring young writers. Good editing will preserve your voice in the story while making it much easier and therefore more enjoyable for your readers to read what you have to say.

Love, Rebecca

I want to know.tz6xnU

If this writer ever wants to be taken seriously as an author, she needs to learn basic grammar. When I read a story, I want it to flow. Instead, I had to keep going back over sentences to see what they said, because of sentences that ran together and improper punctuation. All told: this was a terribly written story.

I swear Anonymous is so damn picky all the time geez. Good story please write more

For a first story it is very good. Don't pay any attention to critics or you'll never get anything done. Constructive criticism is helpful but the downers are just not worth listening to. Try again and let us know about your church ladies. Isn't that special?

Unacceptable writing. Getting into a Big 10 university with this low a level of communication skills is a condemnation of the school's standards.

please, I beg of you. the next time you decide to write another story, ask someone to edit it for you. your grammar is below atrocious. you were so comma happy that you had run-on sentences constantly. I could not get into the story because the grammar was so horribly bad.

It amazes me how critical people can be when we bare our souls for free... just enjoy the writing - or not - and move on. There is no need to be rude! I'd love to hear about your church experience Lisa....

Notice how many critics (including this 'anonymous') never have their own stories to illustrate their brilliance as writers?

Yes, we'd love to read some more about your adventures. Take your time to tell each story and how you felt, what you did...

I can only hope that my FIRST TIME will be as good as your's was. I have seen an older woman (28 to 32) that I would love to have her direct me as to how to do it with another woman, as I am so anxious and read a lot of stories and watch a lot of porn of women/women.

There’s much promise in your writing. The last thing you should think about is not continuing, but keep on sharing the stories and ideas.

You will get criticism, as indeed I have on your writing. Take the constructive elements and work with them, ignore the diatribe and concentrate on what you want to do. There are some grammar inconsistencies in this story, but nothing that won’t improve over time. Try reading your story from end to end a couple of times before publishing it and see if that helps you to spot things that you might want to change.

Looking forward to reading more 😀

Good first story. i want to hear more as you teased. well done

Your story was, well vary believable. I was so wet at the end I had to dig out my 7 inch plastic buddy. Please keep writing, your off to a great start.

What was nice about this story is the battle between how you think you should behave and the longing and desire for such intimate pleasures.. allowing the reader to feel your initial resistance whilst slowly being drawn in deeper and deeper.

Well written and a pleasure to read.. you must write more..

Oggyuk@hotmail.co.uk

Wow this is amazing. Please more!

Wow! A wonderful story! Loved it!

so fucking horny now

Have you ever noticed, when a woman says no to a man and he continues, its rape. Yet, when a woman forces herself upon another woman, its completely acceptable?

It's still not acceptable, but this is porn

I really enjoyed your story, seemed realistic and exciting reading it

it was good continue writing the after story good luck

A good "first time" story try, needs a proofreader, write, read aloud and rewrite. My first woman lover was professor in her 30's at Cornell. We met dancing at a party, next time was a cafe, then a park, a stroll and finally three months later she asked me over to a small party. Several days, later I messaged her at 2am, "Hi I cannot sleep. My heart is beating hard for your touch". Her reply: "Mine also, Friday my place 7pm". I left Sunday evening, having given my virginity to a fabulous lover.

Loved it, maybe I missed the errors as I was too busy ohh, rubbing myself. Ah, OMG that felt good.

I loved it!! I'm a much older male, who also was raised in a very strict religious home. Looking back, I wish I'd had someone to show me the joys of sex and lose my virginity at 18. As it was, that didn't happen until I was 23, then I was far too naive when I got married the first time. At any rate, I hope you do write and post that story you wrote about at the end of this great first time story. I gave it 5 stars.