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Parade

bySabina_Tolchovsky©
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Comments (11)
by Anonymous

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by twelveoone05/17/05

*

some good ideas here
done nicely
good ending

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by Anonymous05/17/05

Beneath the surface...

...the glamour stops.

Some good ideas stomping away in this parade!

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by Jennifer C05/17/05

Great Work

Really enjoyed this poem,
some lovely wording,
I loved

Beyond the painted smile
and tissue paper surface.

So much said with just a
few words.
Loved it!
Thanks.
~ J

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by Syndra Lynn05/17/05

good words

Can't help wondering:

The men that look at me like meat.

Could be tightened by dropping "that."

~Syn

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by hippiedude05/17/05

Ouch!

sometimes its just impossible not to stare

I once went to the tulip festival in Holland Michigan and there was a parade and I'm sure they had a tulip princess which I don't remember but you know I did see this babe standing on the corner -- just kidding sort of

good job describing the crowd at a parade - I liked the cotton candy fingers - clowns - glare over the princes - some really nice images

I am saddened, however, by your disdain for the crowd

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by My Erotic Tale05/17/05

witty woven words

I enjoyed the way this poem flowed, the unveiling like a curtain drawn back slowly revealing the subject

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by Bridget6905/18/05

Very good...

marching procession of images.

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by dcpoet4405/19/05

meat........that is........

also a colossal effect......often times what is underneath the skin often doesn't carry any weight. also, the title says it all. very nice........don

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by Wanton Vixxxen05/21/05

I missed the parade!!!

I don't know how I missed this one, but I'm glad I followed the crowd and got to read it now. This was a wonderful poem, Sabina. My favorite line among favorite lines was,
"If they only knew what lurks beneath this skin". Sure gave MY skin goose bumps when I read it!

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by LeBroz08/11/05

~~

Oh, she's an explosive one ~
not so quiet
not so innocent
just touch her and you'll see
what fun her parade brings.............

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by todski2806/19/14

the sensory

Cues in this are timed to perfection, a confident knowing as you waltz through life exuding a radiance that men admire and the dancing below the surface of darker thoughts and deeds. Damn fine writing.

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