All Comments on 'A Dragon's Tale Ch. 03'

This chapter was released the day after the previous one. This chapter as will be noted by many others I imagine, has a rather powerful cliffhanger. I mean, you've added enough foreshadowing that many of us can have a relatively confident idea of where you're going to take this... but without it being written down, we don't Know.

I just hope you submitted this chapter because the next is mostly completed. If not, well, I'd say its fairly obvious you can write a hook. Cause I sure am 'itching' for what happens next.

Thank you for you work regardless. Excellent writing, and thanks also to SleeperyJim for your editing as credited by the author. Lucky bastard getting to read the next bit before us. xD

May we have the next chapter? Like, right NOW!!! Um, I mean, at your convenience, no hurry or anything (whimper, snivel, big sad puppy eyes, quivering lower lip). Sigh, I'll just be here waiting anxiously at my computer. Thank you.

Why couldn't the girl marry Alana?

Even in locations where it (same sex marriage) was a thing unions of female couples are rarer than male couples.

The odds are very slim that the locals would be pleased. Even if it's technically allowed it's probably uncommon enough that it would easily be cast as the father's attempt to cheat the contract. So we'd get the same end as outright refusal.

Hey, is this chapter it for the month? You mentioned releasing one every month, so maybe early next month we get another one?

Us the rest of this fabulous story!

This was really fast, I even more impressed. And, UNEXPECTED PLOT TWIST!!! I love it! Totally different direction than i had thought. Usually books or stories are predictable, so this was a great surprise. I wish I could have more comments to say more. Ps are you going to do any type of predictable release schedule?

The chapter resume said it was about a bad thing... and through the chapter i hoped this didn't happen... prayed even... and still it happened... this sucks... i'll await when there has been more chaps out... if not i think i will kill myself... again... i love but also hate this... Fck Me!!!...

In your bio you wrote that "One of my biggest pet peeves is authors who start great stories... and then leave me hanging." Same here. Truth be told there are way more "pretty good" and a whole bunch more "fair" stories on the Lit site than there are great stories. At the moment, I think your work is poised to be on that mighty short list. Which is why I hope you keep your word.

I hope you continue writing this, that your level of writing skill continues (or even improves), and that you keep us insanely voracious readers (sometimes just plain insane) at least placated, if not downright happy with your (to date) impressive talent.

I'm very interested in reading what you come up with next.

Please continue.

Mel

Just hang us to dry huh. Hope you finish. Good story.

Does that mean there will only ever be 3 parts to this story?

Do you ever plan on telling the rest of the story, or was that it?

PLEASE KEEP WRITING THIS

Don’t stop now it’s getting better all the time

This is getting good, what a great story

That was such a shitty decision, why would Ethan agree to abide by the terms of this stupid marriage contract. It's just so contrived and stupid.

I really hate such scenes when someone is indecisive about what they really want and settle for the easy decision.

Yes, her family would be in danger but agreeing that quickly and saying things like "I have to..." is not the way forward.

Damn it, I didn't see a 'harem' tag when I started reading this. Make your own freaking decisions Ethan - you lived on earth making a wrong decision when you felt deep inside it was wrong and you're doing the same here.

I honestly don't want him getting together with that girl. Just cause she's smitten with you doesn't mean you have to accommodate her. Argh

Forced reasoning to create tension and move the plot along. If Ethan publicly refused to marry the banker's daughter why would Delmar waste time with her or any of the banker's family? The foundation for this doesn't exist far enough before the event and the "forced reward" feels forced on the audience.

While we don't know the setting well somehow the antagonist is going to leave the protagonist with "no other choice" and too much of this makes the story stop feeling natural. Deus ex machina in reverse.

Worse, too much conflict and tension caused by an ill defined antagonist makes for a "crapsack world". Unlike comic books, where there was a lot of room for darker and edgier, fantasy settings don't really benefit from it. It's already different from our everyday life, it doesn't have to be dystopian to get our attention.

To the author: The story started out so well. But you forced drama where it was not necessary, even if it was necessary, you did it without much though.

You writing is brilliant, otherwise. I've read a few more chapters after this, but this was the chapter that put me off.

The way you portray your world is brilliant, but you characters and their decisions seem all over the place. You don't have to tell us what their motivations are, but it maybe helpful to define them for yourself. You don't have to always adhere to them, but there should be a good reason for them to act out of character.

Anyway, I am only trying to give you constructive criticism (it is only my perspective and I am not a professional).

Your story telling is fantastic, the introduction of drama is perfect, it puts a reader on another level, will that be the end of Alana .... i dont so ...

thanks again for such invigorating reading .... 5*

Ps ... these other comments about no need for drama, isnt that what life is about, so why not in your writing or dont these fools have Any drama In their lives ...

You lost me when Rachel rode off with a dozen horses. How hard was it for Ethan to fly and catch her?

i keep wondering why. there are a ton of good ideas for stories that get trashed just because the author feels like he needs to highten the drama, and in turn makes his mc look like an utter unbelievable moron, devoid of any logic or reason, What irks me most is that up until this point i was actually enjoying this story. at least it wasn't like usual where i buy the books on amazon just to come to this point in book 2 or 3 when i finally have to drop the story because the suspense of disbelieve is shattered by the monumental stupidity of the acting characters.....

dropped and not even interested in how this continues... rip another promising dragon story idea,... shame there are few good ones to begin with :(

Well that was F'd up!! I know you're trying to create multiple things for them to overcome, but I think it's a shitty way to do it, I'm done.

This left me with mixed feelings. The logic seems a little forced.

Pretty corny dialogue, plot holes for days and days, but overall it's pretty decent.

The one thing I'd suggest, is work on fleshing out your characters, in the span of like two days the MC went from being a sad tech entrepreneur to a dragon who was killing multiple people and didn't even bat an eye, but somehow can't get over his ex.

Feels like you had the skeleton of an idea and just didn't know how to fully flesh it out.

Lots of people trashing this story, but I like it so far, despite all the “problems”.

loving it

I like the story!

This is my second attempt but I just can’t get into this story, it’s so FRUSTRATING, Just AAAAHHH, Christ almighty the answers are right in front of them but instead of doing anything they sulk and deny, Jesus Christ if you want a good story read Endangered.

If dragon and elf just left the city? End of problem.

Making the characters idiots just to arrive at next pre determined plot points hurts everyone

Okay, the beginnings of Ethan's harem.

-- a typo / oops late on page four: 'Ethan could think of anything to say, so he nodded. "Okay."' S/B couldn't.

I am enjoying this Dragon's Tale, thank you. ;-) TTFN

another lame harem

Fuck are the characters in this story ever stupid. It is also written for a dull-witted audience...I guess in order to gain more potential readers? It is insulting to my intelligence though.

In my opinion the interaction with Elizabeth after she and her brother were rescued was minimal. She asked questions. That was all that was said of the interaction. It was devoid of content and emotion.

Soo...🤔

If he chose to be with both of them and told the girl's dad to shove it, what would he do-

Say no?💁🏾‍♂️

C'mon, man.🤨

I was enjoying your building story until this twist. Just so unnecessary. Now I'm so disappointed not sure i want to continue. Ugh why?

I think Ethan , will keep them both.

Was happy I found this and I enjoyed the story enough to ignore the glaring plot holes but the end of this chapter really makes me want to drop this entirely

Woah.