All Comments on 'Viva Las Vegas Baby!'

I love this poem!! while not a huge fan of rhyme, this worked wonderfully here. One bit of advice, just a suggestion, if you end your poem here, with this verse, you get a MUCH more powerful ending.--

twice the loser

in the game

in the bed

lady luck has fled

no one the wiser

except the voices

in my head

Great poem rare, you

never dissapoint me!

Fantastic stuff, and

i think your ending

is just fine!

thanks.

~ J

mentioned in the new poems review thread.

Some great lines. I particularly like these -

she walked by and blinked

her levelor blinds

blue was the shade -

and the sequence that follows. Well done. A five.

Tess

you have hit the jackpot!

and it ante's up nice......nice flow........and nicely done......don

I liked this! Thanx!