- All
Comments (7) - Add a
Comment - Send
Feedback Send private anonymous feedback to the author (click here to post a public comment instead).
| Literotica Toy Store ADULT TOY & DVD STORE FAST & DISCREET |
Literotica XXX Webcams 24/7 LIVE CAMS - FREE PREVIEW W/AUDIO! |
Literotica Adult Movies STREAMING ADULT MOVIES PAY PER MINUTE |
English
excellent!!
I love this poem!! while not a huge fan of rhyme, this worked wonderfully here. One bit of advice, just a suggestion, if you end your poem here, with this verse, you get a MUCH more powerful ending.--
twice the loser
in the game
in the bed
lady luck has fled
no one the wiser
except the voices
in my head
excellent as always
Great poem rare, you
never dissapoint me!
Fantastic stuff, and
i think your ending
is just fine!
thanks.
~ J
I really like this too
mentioned in the new poems review thread.
Nice!
Some great lines. I particularly like these -
she walked by and blinked
her levelor blinds
blue was the shade -
and the sequence that follows. Well done. A five.
Tess
With this piece...
you have hit the jackpot!
like this
and it ante's up nice......nice flow........and nicely done......don
From Under the Bridge
I liked this! Thanx!
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission! or
Back to Viva Las Vegas Baby! or
More submissions by rarebreed21.