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English
Nice Remec
A very solid poem- good structure and flowed nicely. The second to the last stanza was a bit rocky. I was thinking you should've broken it up into two stanzas or prehaps taking out some of the "and" words or adding commas where needed. Over-all, excellent poem. Thanks!
This I REALLY liked!
Picking them up, I
realize they're not the
random bits of this
and that I had thought
they were when we
played our games among
the totes and chests and
Nana's stacked Avon boxes
under the slanted roof of
their old home.
Wow!
The more I read of yours the more I'm impressed. This has some simply beautiful lines that let us look through a grown child's eyes.
Tess
very nice poem~
I truely enjoyed the perspective you tantalized in this write, excellent poetry Remec
good stuff in this poem
I really like this: "So umbrellas are guns" That made me smile.
~
"Children handle things in
play without a care as
to what they are, only
what they need to be."
amen.
I have to think on this, there is so muchc promise in this paragraph... you could do a whole series on this theme.
Well written, I could see it all, down to the avon boxes, mind you, not the actual glass pipes and dolls or the perfumes inside... the boxes. That says so much, the image of the stacked containers... it is the mark of a generation.
Thanks--
Anna
some great phrasing
delighting the eyes of the muse..enjoyed..blue
everyone here...
in one way or the other has identified my thoughts too. i wish i had gotten to this one sooner......it's a nice write......loved the stanza with the children......don
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