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English
HOT
Sexy, stemay, saucy, yum! LOved the fast pace, the erotic build up, the more I read the more excited I got! Nice to see another erotic piece from you again Jenn and this one was HOT, Hot, Hot!!!!!
sizzlin
more like it...build up flows nicely...well done...*bluerains*
good rhyme,
here. way to go.
excellent rhythm
and a great poem~
Thanks~
I did....
and absorbed each line because you told me so. it's a good thing i listen. it has a very nice flow too. i can imagine you reading it on stage. very nice jennifer.......don
Took my time...
to read this and loved every word. Great pace and buildup.
flows well
and leads the reader to a nice climax, no pun intended. Thank you for sharing your God given talent with Literotica!
voice
Maybe you should thrill us all with an audio version. I'm with dcpoet on this. It reads like it should be performed.
b'brig
no offence
but your lines should be longer. just my opinion.
Thanx anonymous
for your intelligent suggestion, I hadn't thought of that! Could you tell me why they should be longer in your opinion?
wow I finally
took time to read one of your pens...love your use of words and flow...awesome...thanks for sharing so pleasantly with your nice comments...take care/bluerains
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Non-erotic? Don't believe it. I loved it - I imagined you were talking to me the whole time. I wish we could talk together like that some time.
~~
Pace and rhythm
~ oh so fine
tasteful ~ not crude
again?
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